


Buck’s Luck

by What_The_Fangirl



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Blood and Violence, Buckley dad is not a nice person, Child Abuse, Gen, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Protective Bobby Nash, Protective Eddie Diaz, Protective Firefam, Some Swearing, Sorry if it's garbage, Swearing, Title may change to "Rules and Regulations", be on the lookout for that, i don't really know what i'm doing, more tags to come probably, this is my first fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:42:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23772511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/What_The_Fangirl/pseuds/What_The_Fangirl
Summary: Buck's been through a lot, from the truck explosion, to the tsunami, to the lawsuit. Now that he thinks is life is finally going uphill he needs to prepare for another drop when his father shows up.---------------------------Will Buck be able to live in harmony with his dad until he leaves again? Probably not. So how long can he keep it a secret?
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 167
Kudos: 510





	1. That's what you call the "Luck of Buck"

“10 feet! 5 feet! 1 foot! Good!” The team hears Bobby yell as they back the trucks into the fire station. When they come to a stop the team jumps out of the trucks continuing their conversations they were having in the trucks.

“All I’m saying is if any of you guys did that to me, you’d be needing an ambulance too.” Hen finishes when she reunites with Buck and Eddie, who got out of the other side truck. Buck laughs as he and Eddie purposely bump into each other's arms as they walk to join their captain.

“You think I’m joking Buckly?” Hen asks with a smile.

“Not at all.” He smiles back as they reach their captain. 

The team walks up the stairs and sits on the couches. Hen and Chim sit next to each other on one of the couches while Eddie sits on the one next to them. Bobby and Buck walk over to the kitchen to get some snacks for the team before joining them. Buck places the bowl of pretzels on the coffee table in the middle of the seating area. Buck grabs a pretzel and places it in his mouth before plopping onto the couch next to Eddie. Buck leans into Eddie and Eddie wraps his arm around Buck pulling him closer so Buck is stretched across the couch. Bobby smiles wide and takes a seat on the armchair opposite of Hen and Chim.

“Get married already.” Chim tells the couple as he throws one of the chips Bobby brought in at them. Buck picks up the chip that caught him in the chest and throws it back at Chim hitting him in the chin.

“You first.” he replies with a smug smile. Hen looks at Chim and pats his arm.

“He’s got you there Han.” She says with a smile. The team keeps joking and occasionally throwing food at each other, trying to get in as much fun as they can before the bell rings and they have to run off again.

“Evan!” A voice calls from downstairs. Everyone’s eyes snap to Buck who is now frozen leaning into Eddie.

“Evan!” The voice calls again, a little more aggressive but all around sounding happy.

“Who’s that?” Eddie asks, running his fingers through Bucks dark blonde curls.

“My dad.” Buck says in a slightly dreadful voice but manages to play it off with a clear of this throat.  
“Your dad?” Booby asks, looking slightly excited, “Well better not keep him waiting.” He finishes and begins to rise out of his seat. The rest of the team follows Caps' example and begins rising as well. Eddie helps Buck sit up and the two catch up with the team who are waiting at the top of the stairs. Buck takes a deep breath before he walks down the stairs, the team on his heels.

“Evan, my boy! It’s been too long.” Buck’s dad greets him with arms extended for a hug. Buck hesitantly hugs his father back and replies.

“Hi dad.” His dad releases Buck from the embrace but holds him at arm's length to look him over.

“You look good son, LA’s been treating you nice.”

“Yeah, sure has. What are you doing here?” Buck asks his father in the nicest tone he can muster.

“Business, but I figured I’d stop in. I hope it’s no trouble.”

“Thanks dad, but actually I-” Buck is cut off when Bobby approaches the two and places a hand  
on Buck’s shoulder. At the touch of his captain his father let’s go of Buck.

“Nonsense Buck, he’s family. Hello Mr. Buckley, I’m Robert Nash, I’m your son's captain.” Bobby says with an extended arm. Buck’s dad takes Bobby’s hand and shakes it.

“Richard Buckley. Are you sure I’m not intruding? I would hate to be a burden.”

“Oh no, it’s no problem. While you’re here we can show you around where your son works.” Bobby says with a smile.

“Sounds like a plan.” Richard tells Bobby with a smile.

The two walk over to the rest of the team leaving Buck to stand at the entrance where he greeted his father. He takes a deep breath before turning around to join the team. When he arrives at the group all their eyes fall on him.

“What?” Buck asks as innocently as he can manage to hide his annoyance.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” Chim asks Buck.

“Sure. Dad, this is Hen, she’s a paramedic here, she works with Chim. This is Chim, he works with Hen obviously. Then there’s Bobby as you already know, and… Eddie.” Buck introduces everyone, pointing to them as he says their names.

“It’s nice to meet everyone, I’m Richard.” Buck’s dad introduces himself to everyone and shakes all of their hands one by one.

“Mr. Buckley, if you’d like I can show you around the firehouse.” Bobby tells Buck’s father before Buck can cut in again,

“That would be lovely, thank you, but please, call me Richard.” He responds with a smile. 

“Alright Richard, follow me.” With that Bobby and Richard leave the group. Buck lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Your father seems like a great guy Buck, I always thought he was… you know, dead. I mean you never talk about him.” Chim says when Bobby and Richard are out of sight.

“Yeah, something like that.” Buck replies quietly before walking away to start on his chores.

The day continued like most days but with the added bonus of Bucks father being free to roam around the station. Buck dodges him as much as he can but someone always finds a way to bring Richard right up to him. When the bell rings Buck is the first one in the truck. He treats the calls like every other day. The calls are nothing too serious, a kid stuck in a tree, a prank gone wrong, a severed toe or two, all in all the calls don’t take nearly as long as Buck hoped they would. When they get back to the station Buck is the last one out of the trucks each time, anything to see less of his father, but he’s always right there, waiting.

“Evan!” Buck’s father yells after him as he tries to slip away into the locker room. Buck let’s out a sigh at the fact that he didn’t get away and turns around.

“Yeah?” Buck asks in a genuinely curious, low-key irritated, not that anyone would notice, voice.

“Since I’m not staying too long, I hadn’t even thought about renting a room at a hotel. Would you mind if I stayed with you?” HIs father asks, attracting the attention of everyone in the station.

“Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone.” is Buck’s reply. When his father simply nods Buck walks to the bunks and his father follows.

“What do you really want?” Buck asks the second the door closes behind Richard.

“What do you mean, Evan? I’m here for work.” His father asks in a fake innocent voice, emphasizing his first name.

“But what are you doing here at my job?” Buck asks, raising his voice slightly at how even when they’re alone his father is still playing innocent.

“I wanted to check on my son, is that a bad thing?”

“When it comes to you, everythings a bad thing.”

When Buck finishes he sees his father’s hand fly back, like he’s getting ready to backhand Buck across his face. Buck closes his eyes and flinches back, bracing for the impact of the hit. When it doesn’t come Buck opens his eyes and sees his father lowered his arm again. Buck lets out a small sigh of relief. Richard reaches out and grabs Buck by the shoulders in his all too familiar tight grip. Buck swallows as his father starts to dig his nails into his shoulders.

“Watch your mouth boy, or next time, you won’t be so lucky.” Richard whispers to Buck before opening the door and stepping out of the bunks.

“Thank you so much Evan, I know you don’t have to let me stay with you. I’m so glad you are.” Buck hears his father yell back into the bunks where buck is still standing, frozen.

When Buck finally catches his breath that he didn’t realize increased when his father put his hands on his shoulders, he finally processes what his father just yelled. Buck walks over to the bed in the room and sits on the edge of it with his face in his hands. Of course the bastard had to yell his new living arrangements that Buck didn’t even agree to. Now there’s no backing out because the minute he does, Richard goes to Bobby and Athena’s place, they confront Buck at work in front of his team, no, his family, and then Buck’s the bad guy. Either that or everyone knows Buck’s darkest secret and they’ll never look at him the same again, and after everything he’s been through with his leg, then the tsunami, and all the work to get back to his family, including a dumb lawsuit… Buck really doesn’t think he can handle that.


	2. True Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck does his best to hide his true feelings for his father, but it gets hard when his team fall in love with the man they think raised their friend.

After a minute of finally getting his head around everything Buck finally emerges from the bunks. He doesn’t know why he thought someone would get worried about the fact that his father emerged but he hasn’t, he knew they would all be gathered around his father like a group of bystanders at the scene of a fire. Buck ignores the laughs of his family and makes his way to start on his chores.

“Where’s Buck?” Eddie asks the group when they finally catch their breath from the story Buck’s father just got done telling.

“Anyway. I haven't seen him since he went to talk to you.” Hen says, with a bright smile still on her face as she looks at Richard.

“Oh, he’s probably off somewhere sulking, he hates when I tell stories about him.”

“Well we love it.” Chim says with a laugh, and the rest of the team joins in.

“I’m gonna go look for him, just in case it’s something else.” Eddie says, the smile on his face fading at the thought of his boyfriend being upset.

“If you find him bring him here, his father’s not here for long, they should bond for as long as possible.” Bobby yells to Eddie as he walks down the stairs. Eddie gives the cap a thumbs up over his shoulder to show he heard him as he reaches the ground level.

Eddie walks around the station for a bit before he catches sight of Buck aggressively throwing some dirty laundry into the dryer before slamming the lid shut. Eddie walks in and quietly closes the door. Buck leans down and picks up the load of laundry that just finished going through the dryer and turns to place the wash basket on the bench behind him when he sees Eddie standing at the door.

“Oh. Hey. Sorry I didn’t see you there.” Buck tells Eddie as he places the basket down on the bench. His face is now a light shade of pink from embarrassment.

“You’re good. You okay- well actually that’s a stupid question. What’s wrong?” Eddie asks, taking a couple steps forward to help Buck fold the now clean laundry.

“It’s nothing, well not nothing, I mean it’s something, but-”

Eddie cuts Buck off with a smile and a hug from behind. Buck closes his eyes to soak in the warmth of the embrace and leans his head on Eddies, which is resting on Buck’s shoulder. Suddenly all the anger, and embarrassment Buck was being drowned in is gone and he can finally breathe again. A small smile finds its way on Bucks face and he couldn’t be more grateful for the man standing behind him than he is right now.

“Thank you.” Buck whispers to Eddie, who’s smiling now too.

“Why don’t you join us, huh?” Eddie asks Buck in a soft voice.

Buck tenses for a second before relaxing into the hug once more. Eddie can tell there’s something more to Buck that he’s not telling him, but if Eddie’s learned one thing from Chris’s time with his therapist he can’t push it out of Buck. He has to just be there for him and Buck will come to him when he’s ready.

“Okay.” Buck mumbles into Eddie’s hair.

“Okay?” Eddie asks Buck to make sure this is what he wants and isn’t just doing it to make his boyfriend happy.

“Okay.” Buck nods to reassure Eddie.

Eddie kisses Buck’s cheek before letting go of him so they can join the rest of the group. They walk out of the laundry room holding hands and joking happily. Eddie finally begins to think he got his Buck back when they get to the stairs and Buck immediately let’s go of his boyfriend's hand before climbing up the stairs two at a time. Eddie looks after his boyfriend with a curious expression before climbing the rest of the stairs after him.

Eddie sits at the dinner table with the rest of the team, in his usual spot next to Buck, and begins to overthink every reason for Buck’s unusual behavior. The team knows they're together and they’ve never had a problem with them before. Just earlier that day they were cuddling on the couch throwing food at Chim. Did he make Buck mad? They were just hugging in the laundry room and they walked the whole way here holding hands. He hasn’t said anything that he can think of that would make Buck mad at him, he’s made a few jokes yeah but nothing that he hasn’t joked about before. Did he take it too far this time? Is it his dad? He’s the only new variable and now that he thinks about it Buck has been acting kinda strange since his father showed up-

Eddie is pulled out of his thoughts by someone shaking his shoulder. He looks over and sees Chim standing next to him on the other side of Buck.

“You good there Ed?” Chim asks, lowering himself to be eye level with Eddie.

“Yeah just… thinking.” Eddie says with a glance at Buck. Eddie soon realizes Buck’s leg is bouncing up and down at top speeds. Eddie places a calming hand on Buck’s leg, just above his knee. Buck stops bouncing for a second looking at Eddie with a loving smile, which Eddie returns. It’s only when Richard looks at Buck does he startle again, quickly standing up and walking to the kitchen with his empty cup. Eddie watches Buck with concern before his eyes drift to Richard who is staring at him then at Buck then back to him. Eddie could’ve sworn he saw him glare at him but now he’s smiling and waving at Eddie like a little kid who just saw Santa Claus. Eddie shakes his head to clear his mind, he’s actually losing it. Eddie just waves back with a forced smile before looking back to Chim.

“Hey, you think you can check me out real quick?”

“I don’t know how well Buck will take it if I start checking out his man.” Chim jokes with a smile. When all he gets in return is a small forced smile he begins to worry.

“Hey Eddie, you okay man?” Chim asks, placing the back of his hand on Eddie's forehead to check if he’s warm.

“I’m not sure.” Eddie replies, looking at Buck confused.

“Hey Hen, can you come over here?” Chim calls to Hen. When Hen looks up and sees Chim checking out Eddie her heart drops. She makes her way over to the two men and everyone’s eyes follow even Bucks. The second Buck sees Hen and Chim checking out Eddie he feels like he’s going to pass out. His mind starts racing and he can’t calm it, and when both Hen and Chim follow Eddies eyes to him his heart starts racing.

When Chim and Hen finish checking out Eddie and come to the conclusion that he’s just exhausted and make him lay down, Buck lets out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, but when his father’s eyes find their way back to him he’s back to feeling like he can’t breathe again.

"It’s getting late, I should head out.” Richard says with a sigh, grabbing the attention of the team again, “Thank you again for letting me stay with you guys for the day, I hope I wasn’t too much trouble.” Richard tells Bobby with a look of what Buck knows is fake innocence.

“Oh, it was no trouble, feel free to stop by anytime!” Bobby tells him with a huge smile on his face.

“Alright Buck, well I will see you back at your place, which is where again? I’m sorry you know this old brain of mine, I swear I’m losing my mind.” Richard jokes to Bobby as he places a “loving” hand on Buck's shoulder.

“You’re telling me, these kids drive me crazy.” Bobby jokes back, “Buck why don’t you go home with your father, get him settled in, and talk one on one.” Bobby tells Buck with a smile.

Buck looks up at Bobby with a slight look of fear in his eyes.

“But.. I have a shift Cap.” Buck quickly reminds Bobby.

“It’s not trouble, your shifts almost over anyway, and if there’s an emergency we can pull someone else, we need someone to cover Eddie anyway too.” Bobby says patting Buck on the back as he begins to reluctantly stand.

“Thank you Bobby, my boy’s lucky to have a captain like you.” Richard says with a smile, reaching his hand out to shake with Bobby’s who gratefully accepts it.

“Thank you, you’re too kind.” Bobby replies, “Have a good night, and Buck, try not to drive your father too crazy.” Bobby laughs. Buck plasters on a fake smile and waves to his captain.

“Hey cap, can you tell Eddie I said goodnight? I would tell him myself but I don't want to wake him up.” Buck asks his captain before walking out of the station.

“Sure thing Buck.” Bobby replies with a smile.

“Thanks, see you tomorrow.” Buck waves before finally stepping out of the station and getting into the drivers side of the Jeep his father was already sitting shotgun in.

“They seem nice.” Richard tells Buck with a look that he’s all too familiar with.

“Stay away from them.” Is all Buck says before putting his car in reverse and leaving the station to enter his own personal Hell.

When Buck pulls up to his apartment he gets out of his car and into his place as quickly as possible, of course his father follows close behind. When Buck gets into his place he tries to slam the door shut before his father can get in but he feels something stopping the door from closing. Buck looks down and sees his father has his foot in the door to keep it from closing.

“Move your foot!” Buck yells, as he pushes on the door with more of his weight.

“Not until you step away from the door Evan.” Richard replies in his usual cold voice.

“Leave me alone!” Buck yells back, desperation evident in his voice.

Buck feels the weight of his father’s foot disappear so he quickly slams the door shut and leans on it with all his body weight. He’s just about to lock it when he hears the bang of his father running into the door shoulder first. His father’s weight pushes the door open, and by association makes Buck fly across the room, and hit the floor, butt first. Buck tries to get up but his father is already in the room and towering over him. Richard crouches down so his face is level with Bucks. Buck swallows, and gets ready to get hit, but all Richard does is glance around the apartment.

“Nice place Evan.” Buck lets out a deep breath.

“Th- thanks.” Buck manages to get out.

“Your boy toy help pay for it?” Richard asks, now glaring at Buck. Buck’s mouth falls open as he tries to think of something, anything to say right now but he can’t. He watches as his father stands up again and he begins to move to follow suit but when he gets on one knee to stand he sees his father’s knee coming straight at his face. He tries to move away but it’s already too late.

Rule number one of living with Richard Buckley: never let you guard down, the second you do, it’s too late for you.

Buck falls backwards again, his hands shoot up to his nose, which caught the brunt of the abuse. When he brings his hands away from his nose and up to his eyes he can see they’re already covered in blood.

“What the hell?” Buck groans from the ground, his head pounding from bouncing off the, although carpeted, stone floor. Buck finally brings himself to sit up, and from there he finally stands. When he gets to his feet he wobbles a bit until he grabs a hold of his nearby counter.

“Did you really think I didn’t see the way you and that Eddie guy looked at eachother. You’d think you two were married.” Richard says with a look of pure disgust on his face as he walks around Buck’s place to get a better look of it. “And don’t think I didn’t see that hand he places on his leg!” Richard yells from the living room. “He’s lucky I don’t cut it off.” He says quietly more to himself than to Buck but Buck still hears him.

“Don’t you dare go near him! Ever!” Buck yells, marching towards his father, still a little wobbly.

“Or what Evan? Hmm? You can’t do anything. Just look at yourself! All of this and you just tried to stop me from getting in here, and look how well that turned out.” Richard says stalking towards Buck. Buck backs up a few steps so he’s out of arm's reach.

“Go away.” Buck replies, almost in tears thinking about how he can’t protect the man he loves.

“Clean that up, don’t need people asking questions now do we?” Richard asks Buck sarcastically, throwing a washcloth at Buck. Buck flinches at the object being thrown at him before catching it and moving to the stairs to go into his bathroom.

As soon as Buck gets into his bathroom he slams the door shut and makes sure to lock it this time. As soon as it's locked he leans his back on the door and slides down so he’s sitting on the floor. He hugs his knees and rests his face in his arms and let’s every emotion he’s felt since hearing his father call him his ugly name, Evan. It felt like an eternity since he was cuddling with Eddie, laughing and joking with the team. How has it only been a few hours? Buck chokes up at the thought of being alone with this monster of a man people call his dad. All he wants is to be safe. That’s all he’s ever wanted. 

All he can manage to do is choke out one word in a whisper, like a desperate call out to someone he knows won’t hear him, but he tries anyway before he loses all control and begins to full on sob,

“Eddie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the feedback on last chapter, reading your thoughts really made my day! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!! ❤️ (Also I have nothing against the name Evan, I just figured Buck would hate the name his father gave him and referred to him as)


	3. Never Forget Rule #4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie worries about Buck some more. Buck and Richard spend some more time alone, and Richard figures out just how close a one Evan Buckley and his boyfriend are.

When Eddie finally got past the overprotective Hen and slipped out of the bunks Buck and his father were already gone. Eddie doesn’t know why but he has a bad feeling about Richard.

“Where’s Buck?” Eddie asks his captain as soon as he sees him working in the kitchen, no doubt cooking up something delicious for the remaining of the team to eat before heading home.

“I sent him home to have some time alone with his father before his shift tomorrow.” Bobby catches Eddie up without taking his eyes off his cooking. Eddie just nods, slightly hurt that his own boyfriend didn’t come in to say goodbye to him.

“Everything alright Diaz? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” Bobby asks, turning off the stovetop and moving the pot of spaghetti to the side.

“Yeah, must not have gotten enough sleep.” Eddie forces out a chuckle.

So he was as pale as he felt, good to know.

“Here, take some of this home for you and Christopher and get some actual rest, I’ll get someone to cover the rest of your shift.” Bobby tells Eddie while handing him two containers with lids full of spaghetti.

“Are you sure Cap? I only have half an hour left of my shift, I can stay.”

“Yes, I’m sure. Go home, get some rest, spend time with that adorable kid of yours.” Bobby assures him, practically shoving him to the stairs.

“Thanks Cap, you’re the best.” Eddie informs his captain with a smil.

“You’re too kind Eddie, just get out of here.” Bobby laughs as Eddie finally starts walking down the stairs by himself. After collecting his stuff from the locker room, and shamelessly staring at Buck’s locker next to his, Eddie starts heading to the open garage door of the station.

“Oh and Diaz,” Bobby yells from the second floor catching Eddie’s attention, causing him to turn around, “Buck says, ‘Goodnight, I love you, I’ll see you tomorrow’.” Bobby yells at him with a smile.

“Thanks Cap.” Eddie yells back, his usual wide smile finally making another appearance as he thinks about his boyfriend.

Maybe he wasn’t in trouble.  
\----------

Buck was definitely in trouble.

He’s been working on cleaning up his face for the past 10 minutes and has barely made any progress, and his father is starting to get impatient on the other side of the door. Buck can hear his father banging on the door but ignores it to keep looking in the mirror above his sink. His nose is red and puffy and there is still some blood spilling from his nostrils.

“Evan, open the door! You better not be trying something in there!” Buck hears his father yell in between bangs on the bathroom door.

“I think you broke my nose you ass!” Buck yells back, sounding kind of stuffy from the swelling of his nose. He knows he’s gonna pay for that “ass” comment but he doesn’t care about that right now, all he cares about now is keeping his friends from having the same fate as him.

“Open this door Evan, or I will break it down!” His father yells back, after finally stopping banging on the door. 

Buck finally moves over to the door and unlocks it before walking back over to his mirror and the bloody mess in his sink. 

Rule number three of living with Richard Buckley: do what he says… for the most part. Is it humiliating? Oh yeah, 100 %. Is it horrifying? No doubt about it. But it’s safer than going against him and pissing him off more than he naturally is.

Richard opens the door and stalks over to Buck. He grabs Bucks arm and turns him so he’s face to face with his father. Buck flinches at the movement and tries to pull away from his father's death grip on his arm. His father just smacks him on the back of his head. When Buck brings his free hand up to the point of impact on his head, Richard starts poking at Buck's nose. Buck yells and tries to hit his father's hand away but all he receives for his efforts is another smack to the back of his head. Buck stops trying to free himself from his father’s grip and just stands holding his head at the spot that just took two hits. He tries not to wince and flinch as his father’s rough hands poke and prod around his puffy and sore face.

“You’re fine. Just being a big baby, like usual.” Richard ‘diagnoses’ Buck before finally letting go of his arm. As soon as his arm is free Buck unconsciously rubs where his father’s hand print is now on his arm with his opposite hand.

“Get over here.” Richard demands from Buck’s kitchen. Buck reluctantly leaves the ‘safety’ of his bathroom and follows his father’s instructions, stopping out of arm's length of his father.

Rule number two of living with Richard Buckley: always stop at an arm's length away from him, not your arm, his arm. This won’t keep you completely protected, but it’ll help you brace yourself for when he decides he’s had enough of looking at your face.

“Why don’t you make us something to eat. I’m assuming you know your way around the kitchen, after all it seems like you’re the girl in your relationship.” Richard tells Buck with a look of pure disgust plastered on his face. Buck just nods and makes his way deeper into the kitchen.

What he’d love to do is beat the ever living crap out of that look on his father’s face but he’s tried that before and it didn’t go too well. Well he was 16, and roughly 5’6 at the time and now he’s 28 and 6’2 so he does have a slightly better shot, but Richard already knows about the 118 and his and Eddie's relationship so he’s not taking any chances.

Buck prepares a quick meal for his father, just a simple bowl of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. He places the meal on the table in front of his father and goes to walk away when he feels the all too familiar grip of his father’s hand on his wrist. Buck looks at his wrist then at his father, fear definitely present in his eyes.

“Where do you think you're going?” Richard asks Buck, his grip tightening around Buck’s wrist.

“I- I was gonna- um...” Buck stutters in fear.

To be honest he didn’t know he just wanted to get away from his father, but he’s learned better than to tell him that.

“Sit. Down.” Richard instructs Buck behind gritted teeth. Buck does what he’s told and starts across the table out his large window overlooking the city.

They sit in silence as Richard eats his dinner and Buck thinks about what he would be doing if his father wasn’t here ruining his life. It was movie night at the diaz house tonight, he should be there, squished on the couch in between Eddie and Christopher. Just thinking about it makes him smile, which he immediately regrets.

“What are you smiling about?” Richard asks with his mouth still full of his sandwich. Buck looks at his father startled, he thinks up a quick lie but before he can deliver it his phone buzzes from the kitchen counter. Both Buck’s and Richard’s head turn to the phone. Buck tries to get out of his chair quickly but before he can Richard is already up and at the counter. Buck quickly gets out of his chair and runs after his father who already has Buck’s phone in his hand.

“Well isn't this sweet?” Richard asks in a mock loving voice. Buck takes his phone from his father’s hand and reads the text.

Eddie😝☺️💞  
Eddie: Hey babe, I know you’re probably busy with your dad, I just wanted to say that we miss you at movie night. Chris has been asking non stop where you are lol. Anyway I just wanted to check in with you, I love you, see you tomorrow😘❤️

Buck can feel his face turn pink when he reads the text, his face immediately drains of all color when he remembers that his father is right next to him, and just read the same thing he has.

“So… who’s Chris?” Richard asks Buck with a raised eyebrow. Buck looks up at his father with wide, fear filled eyes.

Rule number four of living with Richard Buckley: NEVER let him know about the people you love. You don't wanna know why. Just.. trust me on this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just realized when I transferred my story onto here it got rid of all of my italics and bolded lines so, sorry about that.
> 
> Also I'm sorry this chapter is shorter than the last one, I'm gonna try to make the next one longer. I hope you enjoy nonetheless and I'll try to pump out another chapter today and maybe even another two, it depends on how long it takes to get my homework done because I decided to write this chapter instead of start on that so whoops. 
> 
> Thank you for all the support and have a great day I'll talk to you all hopefully later today!! 😘💞


	4. Sorry to Disappoint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie and Christopher have some bonding time that would only be made better by the presence of Buck. While Christopher tries to get the attention of Buck, Buck does everything he can to keep his father's attention off of Christopher.

“Are you sure Buck can’t come over?” Chris asks his father with the best puppy dog eyes he can muster.

‘He definitely got that from Buck’ Eddie thinks as he pulls his son closer to himself on the couch.

“I’m sorry buddie, but no he can’t. He’s hanging out with his father right now, you know like you are.” Eddie tells his son, pulling him into a tight hug when he talks about them hanging out.

“He can bring his dad here.” Chris tells Eddie when he’s free from the hug.

“Sorry buddie, I don’t think that’s a good idea, he hasn’t seen his dad in a while, they need this time to get caught up with each other.” If Eddie’s being honest, that’s not really why he doesn’t want Buck’s dad over. He loves Buck, and he would love nothing more than to be crushed under the weight of his boyfriend as Buck falls asleep laying across him, but he doesn’t trust Buck’s father, and he doesn’t know why.

“Can I text him dad? Can I pleaseee?” Chris begs his father ” when he catches sight of Eddie placing his phone back on the coffee table.

“Sure thing bud.” Eddie unlocks his phone and hands it back to Chris who happily takes it and starts typing away.

Buck😍  
Eddie: No problem  
Buck: Love you  
Eddie: Love you too  
______Yesterday_____________

Eddie: Hey babe, I know you’re probably busy with your dad, I just wanted to say that we miss you at movie night. Chris has been asking non stop where you are lol. Anyway I just wanted to check in with you, I love you, see you tomorrow💕  
Eddie: Hi Bucky! It’s me Christopher why aren’t you at movie night with us? I know your with your dad but you can bring him two I miss you Bucky! You should come over soon I LOVE YOU!

Chris sends his message to Buck then hands the phone back to his father.

“I hope he likes my message.” Chris says in a slightly sadder tone than Eddie is used to his son using.

“He’s gonna love it!” Eddie tells his son before engulfing him in another tight hug.  
\----------

When Buck’s phone buzzes again, his father doesn’t hesitate to rip it out of his hands. Buck tries to grab it back but all he receives for his struggle is a push to his chest, sending him to land on his butt again.

“So this is Chris?” Richard asks, turning back to Buck. Buck can feel all the blood that rushed to his head in the struggle drain from his face.

“G-give me my phone!” Buck tries to sound confident but in all honestly he’s terrified. He gets to his feet and lunges at his father again to grab his phone. Richard puts an end to the attempt as quickly as Buck started it, with a quick, well placed kick to Buck’s right kneecap. Buck stumbles to stay on his feet and crashes into the nearby counter. He hits his left hip on the corner of the counter in an attempt to keep from hitting his already in pain knee.

“You know, Evan, I thought you would’ve at least learned how to fight since I saw you last. This boy toy of yours-” Richard shakes Bucks phone back and forth to show he means Eddie, “is really making you weak. And who’s Chris? His son? Probably a disappointment, I mean there has to be something wrong with him if he likes you.”

“Don’t talk about Chris!” Buck growls at his father.

“Oh so you do care for the boy?” Richard asks Buck with a sinister grin creeping on his face.

So much for rule 4.

“Richard I’m serious. Don’t go anywhere near them. Or anyone from the 118. Don’t even come near me, just leave!” Buck yells in desperation.

Of course Ricahard doesn’t leave, he does the complete opposite. He steps closer to Buck. Buck tries to back up to stay out of his reach but he hits the counter which keeps him from moving anymore.

So much for rule 3.

“What did you just say to me?” Richard asks staring daggers into his son. Buck remains silent other than the fast breaths he lets out.

“REPEAT YOURSELF EVAN!”

“No-nothing, I didn’t mea-” Buck stutters out but is cut off by his father.

“Last chance Evan.” Richard says lifting an object that Buck can’t makeout.

So much for rule 2.

Buck doesn’t even try to repeat himself or lie about what he said again. He knows his father heard him, he just wants to terrify Buck before beating him into a pulp. Buck shuts his eyes and braces for the hit. His eyes shoot open when he hears the object his father was holding shatter on the counter next to his head. He relaxes slighting thinking the aim of that was just intimidation.

So much for rule 1.

Suddenly he’s being pinned against his kitchen counter by his dad's left arm. Buck struggles against him when he feels the air on his stomach. He realizes his father has lifted up his shirt and his abdomen and side is exposed. Before Buck can register what is happening he feels a sharp pain starting above his right hip and going up his right side.

His father releases him causing him to fall to the ground in pain. He pulls his shirt up again and looks at the large cut going up his side, it’s not too deep that it’ll need stitches but he definitely needs to get it cleaned out and covered. He looks up at his dad who is still holding a piece of the glass plate that is now dripping with blood, Buck’s blood.

“You cut me with a plate.” Buck says, more in a statement than the question he meant it as. His eyes are wide and his breathing has picked up again.

“Get yourself cleaned up.” Richard tells Buck for the second time in the short period of time he’s been here as he throws what’s left of his plate-knife at Buck.

Buck manages to move away from the incoming projectile but as it meets the ground it shatters into smaller pieces that fly everywhere, including Buck's exposed leg.

“And clean that shit up.” Richard motions to the mess of glass and blood on the floor and counter before he walks into Buck’s living room, plops down on the couch and starts watching TV.

Buck nods slightly to himself, still sitting on the ground hiding from the plate that is no longer flying in the air, on the verge of tears. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t help but feel like he’s 16 again, afraid and alone, with no one to keep him from drowning in a sea of pain.  
\----------

The movie ends and Eddie realizes Chris has already fallen asleep, tucked into his father's side. Eddie smiles, he looks up to get Buck’s attention to show him how cute Chris looks when he remembers Buck isn’t here, he’s with his father. Eddie carefully gets up from his spot on the couch and picks up his still sleeping son. Eddie carries Chris into his room and places him on the bed before removing his glasses and placing them on the boys nightstand.

Eddie is in the process of tucking Chris in when he sees him move a bit, and barely open his eyes.

“Oh I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Eddie asks Chris in a whisper.

“No, is Buck here?” Chris asks his father, still half asleep. Eddie shakes his head slightly with a frown.

“I’m sorry buddie, but no he’s not.” Chris nods slightly.

“Did he text me back?” Chris asks his father before he has a chance to say goodnight to his son.

“Yes he did, he said he loves you too and he’s sorry he couldn’t come over, he’ll try to make it next time.” Eddie lies to his son with a weary smile. Chris smiles with his eyes now fully closed.

“Good. Goodnight dad, I love you.” Chris tells his dad barely conscious anymore.

“I love you too buddie.” Eddie reassures his son before leaving the room and closing the bedroom door.

Eddie walks over to the coffee table and looks at his phone screen.

No new messages.

Eddie puts his phone back to sleep and slips it in his back pocket as he grabs the popcorn bowl from the coffee table, along with the two cups they used during the movie. He places them in the sink before unconsciously walking away. He gets about three steps away before he remembers there’s no Buck here to yell at him for trying to do the dishes himself. He walks back to the sink and turns the hot water on and begins to scrub the dishes clean. He can’t help but smile a little at the thought of Buck hearing that Eddie did the dishes instead of him.

Eddie just finishes up the dishes when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He dries his hands with the damp towel he used to dry the dishes before reaching into his pocket to see what caused his phone to buzz.

Buck😍  
Hey there kiddo, sorry I couldn’t make it, but I love you too! I’ll try...  
Open iMessage to see full message

Eddie swipes the message open and continues reading eagerly.

Buck😍  
Eddie: Hey babe, I know you’re probably busy with your dad, I just wanted to say that we miss you at movie night. Chris has been asking non stop where you are lol. Anyway I just wanted to check in with you, I love you, see you tomorrow💕

Eddie: Hi Bucky! It’s me Christopher why aren’t you at movie night with us? I know your with your dad but you can bring him two I miss you Bucky! You should come over soon I LOVE YOU!

Buck: Hey there kiddo, sorry I couldn’t make it, but I love you too! I’ll try to make it next time, and I’ll even stop and pick up the good popcorn, you know the stuff your dad won’t buy because he’s a poopyhead.

Buck: Sorry I called you a poopyhead babe, you know I didn’t mean it 😘 but I really am sorry I couldn’t make it tonight. Sorry if I let you and Chirs down. I love you! I’ll see you tomorrow, sleep well.💞

Eddie: It’s okay I guess, I’ll consider that payback for me doing the dishes lol. Don’t worry about it babe, you could never let us down! I hope you’re having a good time with your father. Goodnight babe, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. 💕💕

Eddie put his phone away with a small smile. At least what he told Christopher wasn't a complete lie.

He makes his way to his own bedroom after turning off all the lights that were on in the rest of the house.

He removes his gym clothes and slips into a pair of gray sweatpants. He doesn’t bother with a shirt as he gets into bed. He reaches over and turns his bedroom light off. As he lays in the darkness he has to admit, his bed does feel empty without Buck in it.  
\----------

Buck puts his phone on the sink in front of him with a small smile at his boyfriend's response. He’s glad he didn’t let them down. 

Buck looks down at the really shitty bandage job he did on his side before he looks down at his leg. He grabs a pair of tweezers from his cabinet before he sits on the side of the bathtub, propping his leg on the sink in front of him. He carefully pulls out small pieces of glass that got caught in his calf. He sure chose the wrong day to work out with Eddie before work. He usually has a change of clothes but he forgot his bag at Eddie’s place this morning when he got distracted by a certain shirtless babe walking around the house. Buck smiles at the memory.

After he finishes getting the glass shards out of his leg Buck pours some hydrogen peroxide on the cuts and throws on some bandaids. He didn’t realize how much of that plate made it into his leg until Buck was finished and was looking at his leg which was more covered than not in bandages. Buck takes a deep breath and looks into the mirror. His nose looks a lot better now. It’s still a little puffy, and there’s now a light purple and blue bruise coming in, but nothing a little makeup won't cover.

Buck heads back over to the door when he feels his phone vibrate in his hand with an email. He turns the ringer all the down before he powers it off and stuffs it in the back corner of the cabinet under the sink. He closes the cabinet after making sure his phone is hidden and finally leaves the false sense of safety the bathroom brings him once again.

When he reaches the bottom of the stairs he sees his father is still sitting on the couch watching TV. Buck’s eyes drift to the mess in the kitchen and suddenly he’s filled with fear again. He takes a couple of deep breaths before making his way to the kitchen.

“Took you long enough. What were you doing? Fixing your makeup?” A voice booms from the living room. Buck flinches when he hears his father start talking but continues walking to the kitchen.

He grabs a couple of washcloths from a drawer by the sink and the cleaning spray from the cabinet below it. He quickly sweeps up the glass with his smaller, handheld broom, smearing some of his blood across the floor when it gets caught on the broom. When he gets most of the glass up he sprays the floor, cabinets, and countertop. He goes through 3 washcloths, all covered in his blood by the end. He throws all three of the clothes out as well as his handheld broom and the dustpan.

After he finishes he starts making his way up to his bed to maybe, just maybe get some sleep. In reality he knows he won’t actually get any sleep but it’s fun to pretend.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Richard asks, finally taking his eyes off the TV screen to look at Buck. Buck swallows before responding to his father.

“I- um… I was gonna go to bed.” Buck tells him, while avoiding eye contact.

“Not up there you’re not.” Richard informs Buck as he starts to stand.

“Dad, please. I- I have work tomorrow and-” Buck pleads with his father, but stops when Richard starts walking towards him.

“You’re gonna sleep on the couch or locked in the bathroom, your choice.” Richard pats the top of Buck’s head as he walks past him and up the stairs to Buck’s bedroom. Buck flinches away from the touch and watches as his father takes over his room.

Buck walks over to the chest in the living room he keeps stocked with blankets. Suddenly he’s even more glad for Eddie and Chris, if it wasn’t for them and all their spontaneous sleepovers he definitely would not have as many or as soft blankets as he does. Buck grabs a large, fluffy, gray blanket and wraps it around himself before curling into a ball on the couch.

He just lays there, eyes wide, mind racing. He stares at the wall, nowhere particularly, just at the wall. Whenever he hears his father shuffle in his sleep he can’t help but tense up.

What if he wakes up and decides Buck’s bed isn’t nice enough so he decides to beat his son for “buying the wrong bed or comforter”? What if he finds his phone under the sink and texts someone something and ruins Buck’s relationship with them? What if he decides to beat up Buck… just because?

Buck wishes these thoughts where just that, thoughts, but unfortunately he knows that’s not true. He knows that from experience.

Rule number 5 of living with Richard Buckley: if you’ve thought of it, so has he. If you haven’t thought of it, he has. Be prepared for anything and everything.

Buck can feel the pressure of tears building in his eyes, but he doesn’t try to stop them. He lets his tears just keep coming, and coming as he silently sobs on the couch.

Rule number 6 of living with Richard Buckley: wait until he’s asleep to cry, it gets a lot worse if you don’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments! Reading them really does make my day!!
> 
> I'm sorry this chapter took a bit longer to get out than I had hoped, my wifi has been tweaking out all day and I unfortunately had to actually do my homework. I am hoping to get chapter 5 out tomorrow, hopefully earlier than I got this one out. Sorry again, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> I did make this chapter longer than the others, please let me know if you prefer the longer or shorter chapters so I know for the future chapters. (Not all long chapters will take this long to get out, I just kept getting distracted by my sister and my wifi only worked half the time, my apologies)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, feel free to let me know what you think!! 🥰💞


	5. Just Like Old Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie's suspicions grow. Buck tell more lies that Eddie pretends to believe even though they both know he doesn't.

Buck lays still as he watches the time on his alarm clock change every minute. He didn’t bother setting an alarm, he knew he wasn’t going to get any sleep. He throws the blanket off of himself and swings his feet off the couch. He looks around the quiet apartment for a second before he stands and starts making his way through his daily routine, well as much of it as he can.

He doesn’t bother going upstairs, he doesn’t want to risk waking up his father. He soon realizes there’s not much of his routine he can do. He can’t get changed, so he’ll have to figure out a way to get a change of clothes without waking up his father. Luckily for him, he just happened to have left a bag of clean clothing at his boyfriend's house. He skips the coffee, Eddie will probably have some made anyway, and grabs his keys and wallet and heads out the door.

When he gets in his Jeep he remembers the bruise on his face, a quick stop to a makeup store will solve that. He drives himself to the store and picks up some makeup, which thanks to Maddie he has a decent idea of what it is and how it works. He drives himself to the Diaz house and sits out in the car while he applies the concealer and some powder to the bruise until it’s completely covered. He gets out of his car and walks up to the front door.

His nerves are all over the place and he doesn’t know why. It’s not like he’s never been to Eddie’s house before, but then again, all those times he has been he wasn’t covering up a huge bruise on his face.

He lightly knocks on the door, not wanting to wake Christopher up. After a short couple of minutes the door in front of him opens revealing a shirtless, exhausted looking Eddie.

“Buck! Hey! What’s up?” Eddie greets Buck, pulling him into a tight hug. Buck gratefully returns the embrace before answering.

“Not much, just wanted to check in on you and Chris since I couldn’t make it to movie night last night.” Buck tells Eddie with a smile. Eddie finally releases Buck and practically pulls the man into the house.

“Please have some coffee, you look exhausted.” Eddie tells Buck with a slight frown.

“Thanks,” Buck takes a mug full of coffee from Eddie with a smile. “It was a long day yesterday, getting my dad situated at my house and all.” Buck explains. Eddie leans on the kitchen island across from Buck, his hands still on his mug for warmth.

“How are things with your dad anyway?” Eddie asks, in a quieter, more serious tone. Buck takes a small sip of his coffee before replying in a less than convincing voice.

“It’s alright, just getting used to having him around again.” Buck lies. Eddie nods before taking a sip of his own coffee, he doesn’t believe a word that he’s saying.

The two sit in silence for a while before Eddie breaks that silence with a question.

“Are you wearing your gym clothes from yesterday?” Buck looks down at himself, once he was in Eddie’s presence he completely forgot why he came over in the first place.

“Oh yeah, I didn’t want to wake my dad this morning, I think I left my bag here yesterday, do you mind if I go change?” Buck asks Eddie, pointing behind him at Eddie’s bedroom where he left his bag.

“Yeah, no problem, I have to wake Chris up anyway, he’s gonna be so happy you’re here.” Eddie tells Buck with a huge smile on his face at the mention of his son. Buck is pretty sure his smile matches that of Eddie Diaz, he loves that kid so much, and there’s nothing he wants to do more than make the kid smile.

Eddie watches as Buck navigates through the house and disappears behind his bedroom door. Eddie smiles at him even though he’s not here to see it before placing his coffee down to go wake Chris up.

Eddie turns the light on in Chris’s room, which startles his son.

“Time to get up bud.” Eddie tells his clearly still tired son. Chris dreadfully sits up in his bed, rubbing at the sleep in his eyes. “I have a surprise for you when you’re ready.” Eddie tells his son with a smile.

All signs of sleep in Chris’s eyes are gone in an instant. Eddie leaves the kid to get ready with a smile and returns to the kitchen where Buck is standing completely dressed. Buck smiles at the sight of his boyfriend who still has a huge smile on his face from his encounter with his son.

“What?” Eddie asks Buck, who’s smiling at him like a maniac. Buck just shakes his head slightly before taking a sip of his coffee.

“Nothing.” He lies with the same goofy smile as before. Eddie kisses Buck’s cheek before heading into his own bedroom to get dressed for the day. 

When Eddie comes back out of his room he sees Buck has already prepared pancakes and orange juice. Eddie walks up to his boyfriend who is placing the pancakes on the table.

“You didn’t have to do this.” Eddie tells him with a smile and a hug from behind.

“I know, but I wanted to.” Buck replies with a kiss to Eddie’s temple. The two are pulled from their moment by the sound of two crutches tapping on the hardwood floor.

“Buck!” Christopher yells, picking up his pace. Buck crosses the space between himself and Christopher in 4 large steps and scoops the boy up in his arms, embracing him in a tight, loving hug.

“Morning buddie!” Buck greets Chris with the biggest smile Eddie has seen on his boyfriend in a long time.

“You made breakfast!” Chris says happily as Buck releases him.

“How do you know it wasn’t you dad?” Buck asks with a teasing grin.

“Because dad can’t cook.” Christopher explains to Buck in the innocent way he always does so Eddie couldn’t be mad at him, even if he wanted to be.

“Hey!” Eddie interrupts the laughter of Buck and Chris with a smile and his hands on his hips.

“He’s got a point.” Buck informs Eddie with a kiss to his cheek. Eddie jokingly rolls his eyes at Buck before making his way to grab himself some pancakes as well.

“You gonna eat anything?” Eddie asks when he realizes Buck is only sipping at his coffee.

“I’m not really that hungry, I had a big dinner.” Buck lies with a smile that could fool anyone, well almost anyone. Eddie just nods with a look of concern. Before he can ask anything else about it the front door opens.

“Was that Mr. Buck’s Jeep I saw out there?” Carla asks with a wide smile when she catches sight of Buck.

“Morning Carla.” Buck greets her with a hug.

“Morning Buckeroo, it’s been too long.”

“Sure has.” Buck pulls away and grabs the now dirty dishes from the table and takes them to the sink.

“Morning to you too Carla.” Eddie finally speaks in a mock insulted voice.

“I see you everyday Diaz, don’t you get all mad at me.” Carla explains to Eddie with a smile and a hug.

“I gotta get going if I want to make it on time, you too Buck.”Eddie tells Buck and Carla. Buck nods and leaves the dishes to be done later. “You have everything you need?” Eddie asks Carla while grabbing his keys, phone, and wallet.

“All I need is this little munchkin right here.” Carla tells Eddie with a smile, as she hugs Chris.

“Alright, I’ll be back later bud, behave for Carla.” Eddie tells his son with a hug and a kiss to his forehead.

“Okay dad. Is Buck coming back too?” Chris asks before his father has the chance to move.

“I don’t know yet bud, I’ll try.” Buck tells Chris with a hug.

“Alright, we really need to go.” Eddie tells Buck with a glance at his watch. “See you later buddie, thank you Carla.” With that Eddie and Buck are out the door.

“Wanna carpool? We can pick up your car after our shift.” Eddie asks Buck when he sees him walking towards his Jeep.

“Um, sure.” Buck says with a small smile, before making his way over to the passenger side of Eddie's truck.

“Just like old times.” Eddie thinks to himself as he reaches for Buck’s hand which is sitting on the center console. Buck happily takes Eddies hand in his and they drive to the station hand in hand.  
\----------

If he’s being honest with himself, which is something he doesn't do very often, he’s glad Eddie hasn’t brought up the lies he’s been telling that he knows Eddie isn’t falling for, or the fact that he needed to come over to Eddie’s place this morning to get a change of clothing because he was too afraid to wake his father up. He wants to tell Eddie what’s going on, he really does but he can’t. Not if he wants to keep him and Chris safe.

The two pull up to the station but Eddie doesn’t make a move to get out. When Buck begins to open the car door he feels Eddie pull lightly on his hand to keep him in the car. Buck leans back in his seat and looks at Eddie with concern.

“Is everything alright?” Buck asks, “Is everything okay with Chris?” Buck can feel panic rise in his chest. It quickly disappears when Eddie shakes his head.

“No. No, Chris is fine. It’s you I’m worried about.” Eddie tells Buck in a gentle voice. Buck can feel Eddie rubbing his thumb along his hand. It’s soothing, very soothing to the point where Buck just wants to yell, to scream “I’m not okay! My father’s abusing me and has been since I was a kid but I can’t do anything about it because I’m weak and he threatened you and Chris, and I’d rather die the most slow and painful death than let anything happen to you!”

But he doesn’t.

“Why?” Buck instead goes for the playing dumb move.

“Come on Buck, you can’t seriously think I didn’t see your leg covered in bandages and cuts when you showed up at my house asking for your own clothing because you didn’t want to wake up your dad, did you?” Eddie asks in the same gentle voice.

Buck looks down at his hand that is still intertwined with Eddies.

“You don’t have to tell me. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Eddie explains to the now shaking Buck.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” Buck lies, he knows Eddie doesn’t believe him, but he doesn’t say anything to Buck about it.

“You know I’m here if you ever want to talk about it.” Eddie tells Buck with a small kiss to his cheek.

“Thanks.”

Eddie pulls Buck in for a small kiss before they get out of Eddie’s truck to meet the rest of the team. The two hear laughter ringing through the station from their team. They share a look before jogging up the stairs to see what the cause of the commotion is. 

When they reach the top Buck’s heart drops at the sight of his friends laughing sitting in a semicircle at the table around his father.

“Ah Evan, there you are!” Richard greets Buck with what looks like a loving smile.

Buck's eyes widen at the sight of the man. There's no way he's here. He was so careful. He didn't set any alarms, he never went upstairs, he didn't tell his father what time his shift started.

“I was hoping to catch you here.” Richard tells his son in a tone Buck’s all too familiar with, “I need to talk to you.” Richard begins to stand.

“Um, okay.” Buck knows he tensed up since first walking into the station but he's nowhere near focused enough to care.

“Alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter isn't as long as I wanted to make it I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.
> 
> More bad news: unfortunately I won't update this fic for a bit. I am definitely going to finish this fic sometime in the near future so please don't fret.
> 
> Some good news: I am currently working with a friend of mine on a new fic, that is somewhat like this one. If you enjoy this one, feel free to check out my second one when it comes out. For more information about the second fic read the notes that will be at the end of chapter 6 when it is updated.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I hope you continue to read once I update again! I am so sorry that I don't know when the next time I update will be, but please don't lose hope!! 💞


	6. Suspicions are High

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck and his father gave that private talk. Eddie confront Bobby about his suspicions in the hopes that Bobby can help him protect his boyfriend. Eddie continues his quest to figure out what's wrong with Buck without pushing too hard.

Buck can tell all eyes are on him as he nods slightly at his father’s “request”. He watches as Richard stands from his place in the center of the semicircle Buck’s friends created around him and walks past Buck and down the stairs Buck and Eddie just came up from. Buck swallows hard before following, feeling nothing but dread and fear.

When he reaches the bottom he follows his father to the bunks.

“Well, this is all too familiar, don’t you think?” Richard asks Buck as he closes the door, once again trapping Buck in the room with him.

“How?” is all Buck can manage to ask. He has so many questions, so many comments but he goes for the simplest one that’ll hopefully not get him hurt.

“You underestimate me, Evan.” Richard replies with a rough pat to Buck’s right cheek. Buck flinches away from his father’s touch. Richard just laughs.

“Listen Evan, I was thinking, Bobby seems like a family man. I’m sure I could talk him into giving you off for the remainder of my trip, really give us some time together. You know, family bonding and stuff like that.” Richard tells Buck with a sinister smile, and gives a throaty chuckle that sends a shiver through Buck.

“Please don’t.” Buck begs his father, his eyes wide and wet with unshed tears.

“I wouldn’t have to if you just kept me in the loop, Evan.” Richard slides his thumb along Buck’s cheek in what would be a loving manor from an outsider's perspective.

“I will, I swear. From now on I’ll tell you everything, I promise! Just please- please don’t make me stay home.” Buck begs his father.

“Alright fine. You have one more shot. If you so much as think something I disapprove of, you’re staying home.” Richard threatens Buck with an aggressive poke to his chest. Buck quickly nods and watches as his father walks out of the room.. Buck quickley wipes away his unshed tears before making his way up to the loft himself.

The bell goes off as soon as Buck reaches the top of the steps, he exchanges a nervous look with his father before running back down the stairs to get in the truck with his team.  
\----------

Eddie jumps out of the truck once they return from the scene of a single car accident. Luckily the teenage boy who was driving got out with only minor injuries after his brakes stopped working. Eddie looks over to his boyfriend, who is cautiously getting out of the truck, looking around the station with his head on a constant swivel.

“You okay Buck?” Eddie asks him when he finally makes it to the loft.

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” Buck responds, though Eddie doesn’t buy it for a second.

“You sure? You’ve been acting kinda strange lately.”

“I’m good Eddie, don’t worry about me.” Buck tells Eddie with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“You know you can talk to me about anything right? We’re boyfriends, I’m here for you no matter what.” Eddie tells Buck with a gentle hand on his shoulder. Buck looks around quickly when Eddie refers to them as ‘boyfriends’ like he’s looking for someone. His eyes drift back to Eddie when he seems to come up empty on his search.

“Thanks Eds, I appreciate it.” Buck tells him with a quick peck to his cheek before he makes his way to the storage closet. Eddie watches as Buck emerges a few seconds later with some cleaning supplies for the truck. He’s just about to follow Buck to the truck to help him when Bobby walks by.

“Cap!” Eddie calls to Bobby to grab his attention. Bobby stops walking and turns around at his name.

“What’s up, Eddie?” He asks with a smile.

“I need to talk to you,” his eyes drift down to Buck, who’s now throwing a wet rag at Chim, “privately.” He finishes in a quieter tone, setting off all kinds of alarms in his captain's head.

“Uh, yeah sure, follow me.” Bobby tells him shortly, after following Eddie’s gaze to the youngest member of the 118 family.

The two walk to Bobby’s office, and close the door behind them. Bobby takes a seat behind his desk, but Eddie politely declines the chair when Bobby offers one to him.

“Is everything okay with you and Buck?” Bobby asks after a short silence.

“What? Oh, no we’re good but, I don’t know, something’s off with Buck and I’m getting worried.” Eddie tells his captain truthfully.

“So you noticed too.” Bobby says quietly, leaning on his desk with a sad look on his face.

“This morning he showed up at my house in the gym clothes he left the station in yesterday with bandaids and small scratches all over his legs. When I asked him if he was in his clothes from yesterday, he said he didn’t want to wake up his dad. That’s not normal right? Like, who’s that scared to wake up their father that they wear their dirty and sweaty gym clothes all night.” By the time he’s finished Eddie is so exhausted from pacing back and forth, and worrying about his boyfriend that he collapses into the chair in front of Bobby’s desk.

“Is it possible he isn’t scared of his father? Maybe he just wants to be a good host.” Bobby offers as an innocent solution, but Eddie can tell he doesn’t even believe his own words. Eddie gives him a look that says as much.

“I know, I know.” Bobby says, not trying to convince Eddie anymore. He leans back in his chair with a sigh. “What do you think is going on?” He asks after another minute of silence.

Eddie gives Bobby a look of pure concern. Bobby believes he knows exactly what Eddie is thinking, but he hopes he’s wrong because if Eddie’s thinking what Bobby thinks he is… they have the same concern.

“Don’t make me say it, Bobby.” Eddie practically begs his captain. Bobby lets out another deep sigh. So it is as he feared.

“You think Richard is abusing Buck, don’t you?” Bobby asks with a frown. Eddie just nods sadly.

“Shoot me in the foot and call me a pickle.” Eddie’s head snaps up from where he was staring at his own feet.

“You think the same thing.” It’s more of a statement then a question, but Bobby nods nonetheless. Eddie drops his head in his hands.

“What do we do?” Eddie asks desperately, looking back up at Bobby.

“Nothing.” Bobby says sadly.

“Nothing? You’re joking, right! We can’t just sit here while Buck gets- gets.” Eddie has to stop, he can’t even get the statement out. He feels sick just thinking about it.

“We don’t know anything for certain. For right now, we sit tight, and don’t let him out of our sights. Don’t let him go anywhere by himself, you hear me, Eddie?” Eddie nods at his captain's demand. “Good. You go with him everywhere. On scene, you’re with him, at the station, you clean with him. His father shows up, you tell me immediately.” Bobby sets more rules for Eddie, who just nods anxiously along. “That boy is like a son to me, Diaz. We’re not letting him get hurt anymore, not on our watch.” He finishes, standing up from his desk.

“Yes, sir.” Eddie replies. Bobby nods, signalling that Eddie can leave. 

“I won’t let you down.” Eddie tells Bobby before he leaves the office.

“I know you won’t.” Bobby replies to the empty room.  
\----------

After the shift ends Eddie can see Buck tense up. He watches Buck as he changes in the locker room for a little, keeping an eye one how he moves and grimaces at certain movements when he thinks no one is watching before he makes his way in to change for himself.

“That’s a nasty cut you have on your side, there.” Eddie says as he walks into the room. Buck jumps at his voice and Eddie would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt. Buck looks down at his side and eyes the cut along it for a second before he quickly throws his white tank over it.

“Yeah, I’m an idiot. I was taking the trash out and I stepped wrong and fell. Cut my whole side on a rusty nail that was sticking out of a wooden plank.” Buck tells Eddie with a small laugh and a smile that has to be one of the most forced things Eddie has ever seen.

“Well, if that’s the case, you really are an idiot.” Eddie replies with a fake laugh and a smile like the one Buck is displaying.

“That’s not even the best part,” Buck continues, as he slips his arms in a red button up, “my neighbors saw the whole thing.” Buck lets out another chuckle.

“You are a mess.” Eddie tells Buck with a quick peck on the lips.

“I know.” Buck smiles as he rolls the sleeves of his overshirt up.

“So, Chris was wondering if you were coming over later. He really missed you last night. I did too.” Eddie tells Buck. The fake smile Buck was sporting earlier is gone now.

“I’d love to come over, you know I would, it’s just-” Buck starts, but pauses, like he’s trying to come up with a lie on the spot.

“You’re dad?” Eddie asks with a frown.

“Yeah, I’m so sorry, Eddie. I promised I’d show him around LA today.” Buck explains.

“Don’t worry about it. Have fun.” Eddie tells him with a fake smile before walking away.

“Eddie, wait!” Buck calls after Eddie. Eddie stops and turns around to see Buck standing there with a bag in his hands.

“My Jeep is still at your place, maybe I could come over and pick it up, hang out for a bit?” Buck asks.

“We’d love that.” Eddie tells Buck. Buck lets out a sigh of relief like he was afraid Eddie was going to reject him.

The car ride to the Diaz household is short but Eddie finally sees Buck crack a genuine smile for the first time today. Eddie can’t help but watch with a smile of his own as Buck tells a story about how Chris fell asleep on him while they were watching a movie.

“What?” Buck asks in the middle of his story, with his same grin, catching Eddie’s gaze.

“Nothing, it’s just- it’s nice to see you smile.” Eddie tells him truthfully.

“Well keep your eyes on the road.” Buck tells him with a playful nudge. Eddie rolls his eyes and looks back at the road as Buck continues his story.

They pull up to the Diaz household shortly after Buck starts a new story. Buck definitely would’ve finished his story, but he cuts himself off when he sees the familiar 8 year old boy standing at the front door.

Buck quickly jumps out of the car and runs to Chris, leaving his bag in the car. He leans down long enough to pick the boy up and wrap him in a tight hug. Eddie watches as Buck tries to hide a grimace as one of Chris’s crutches catches him in the side. Eddie grabs Buck’s gym bag from the back seat of the truck, then grabs his own. He walks over to Buck and Chris who are still wrapped in a tight embrace.

“Alright, let’s bring this party inside.” Eddie tells the two as he walks around them to get inside himself. Buck follows shortly afterwards with Chris sitting on his hip. Eddie can’t help but notice that Chris is on Buck’s left instead of the right, where he normally sits.

“Hey buddie, why don’t you go get your new toys to show Buck.” Eddie tells Chris with a smile.

“Okay, Daddy!” Chris makes his way to his room as soon as Buck sets him down.

“You want something to drink?” Eddie asks Buck with a worried glance.

“Um, no thank you. I really should be heading out.” He tells Eddie without making eye contact.

“Already? You just got here.” Eddie asks Buck, ignoring the open fridge.

“I know, I’m sorry it’s just- I promised my dad I would show him around and he likes to be on schedule.” Buck lies, finally chancing a glance at Eddie.

“Stay just a little longer, please.” Eddie practically begs. He doesn’t care how desperate he sounds. He just wants to spend some time with his boyfriend. 

“Fine.” Eddie smiles widely handing Buck a beer from the still open fridge. “Just for a little.” Buck adds as he takes the beer from Eddie’s hand.

“I’ll take it.” Eddie tells him with a smile.  
Chris comes out of his room some time later with a small box filled with toys.

“Woah, you’ve got a lot of new toys there, buddie.” Buck says as he catches sight of Chris.

“Yeah, abuela really spoiled him the other day.” Eddie explains to Buck with a chuckle. “Who am I to complain? He has toys, and I didn’t spend a dime.” Eddie finishes with a smile.

Buck looks back at Eddie with a smirk before he sits on the ground next to Chris. He sits patiently as Chris pulls out all of his new toys, one by one to show Buck. The two are busy playing, so Eddie takes it upon himself to order some dinner. He would’ve cooked something, but last time that happened Buck made fun of him for a week.

There’s a knock at the door, which grabs Eddie’s attention. The knock itself doesn’t concern him- afterall it is probably just the pizza- it’s Buck’s reaction to the knock that really gets to him. 

Eddie is talking to Chris about his day at school when the knock comes. He doesn’t miss the way Buck flinches and tries to crawl away for a second, before playing it off as trying to grab one of Chris’s toys from behind him. Eddie looks at Buck with a raised eyebrow for a second before he excuses himself to get the door.

Eddie thanks and tips the delivery man before taking the pizzas inside the house. He decided it’s best to get two. Afterall, Buck usually eats a whole pie by himself. He places the pizzas on the table and goes in the cabinet to get plates for the three of them.

“Dinner’s here.” Eddie calls out to the living room, where Buck and Chris are still playing with some cartoon playing on the TV.

Eddie sets the plates out on the table as his boyfriend and his son enter the dining room. Chris sits in between Buck and Eddie. Eddie grabs two slices for himself, and Buck grabs a slice for Chris, but never grabs a slice for himself.

“Aren’t you gonna eat?” Eddie asks, concern hinted in his voice.

“Nah, I’m not really hungry,” Buck responds, taking a sip of the water he got for himself after drinking half of a beer.

“You sure? You haven’t eaten all day.” Eddie is struggling to hide the concern in his voice. Buck must’ve picked up on it too, given his response.

“I promise, Eddie.” Buck says, reaching across the table to hold Eddie’s hand for reassurance.

“If you say so. Just- please eat when you get home.” Eddie replies, taking Buck’s hand in his own.

“I will.” Buck says, with a small squeeze of Eddie’s hand. Buck’s eyes must’ve drifted to the clock on the wall because a second later he’s abruptly standing up from the table, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

“I- um. I have to go.” He stutters out, quickly making his way to the gym bag Eddie dropped by the door.

“You sure? You can stay the night if you want.” Eddie offers, following Buck into the living room.

“I’d love to, I would but… I can’t. I’m sorry. I’ll uh- I’ll see you tomorrow.” Buck manages to get his words out.

“Uh- okay?” Eddie replies, unease visible on his face.

“I’m fine, don't worry, I just remembered something. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Buck says as he quickly makes his way back into the dining room to say goodbye to Chris. Eddie is about to follow him in when Buck emerges not even 5 seconds after walking in.

“What about tonight?” Eddie asks, following Buck outside.

“Um- yeah sure. I’ll see what I can do. I’ll talk to you tonight. Goodnight, I love you.” Buck says, giving Eddie a quick peck on the lips before throwing his bag onto the passenger seat of his Jeep.

“I love you too.” Eddie replies, alarms still going off in his head.

Buck gives him one last smile before he gets in his Jeep and speeds out of sight.  
\----------

No, no, no, no, no! This can’t be happening! He never should’ve stayed! He knew this would happen! He can’t think straight around those Diaz boys, he should've known better.

He told his father he would be back after his shift, although he didn’t specify when after his shift. He knows his father won’t see it that way, though. He speeds down the street to his apartment, somehow hitting all the green lights. Buck, for the life of him, can’t figure out whether that is good or bad. On the plus side, he will get home to his father faster. On the downside, he will get home to his father faster. It’s a lose-lose situation, and Buck knows it.

He slams his car in park and turns off the engine. He jumps out and runs up the stairs after deciding the elevator is taking too long. When he reaches his apartment, he tries the door and realizes it’s still unlocked. Buck can honestly say he’s surprised. When he was younger and he missed his curfew, even by a couple of minutes, his father would lock him out of the house, and make him sleep outside. No matter what the weather.

Buck quietly walks in, trying his hardest not to wake his father. Sure, his father will still be mad at him in the morning, but he’d much rather put up with an awake and angry Richard than a half asleep, just woke up, angry Richard. 

Buck just closes the door, not even bothering to lock it- in case he needs to make a quick getaway- when the lamp in the living room turns on.

Buck freezes at the sight, and swallows hard. He slowly turns around to see his father sitting on the La-Z- Boy, that Maddie convinced him to buy, with a look of anger, and disgust.

“Where have you been?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rumor has it... Eddie's fridge is still open to this day.
> 
> I am so, very sorry for not updating in awhile. I am full of shit and do nothing but lie and I am so, so, so sorry!! I feel so bad for not giving you any new content and I feel so bad that this is the content you guys get after all this time. This has to be one of my worst chapters yet and I am so sorry!! I will try to update more regula ly but I have no work ethic and probably won't. I have an ending planned, I just need to think of a way to get from where I am to where I need to be in order to connect these chapters to the chapters I have written for the ending.
> 
> In other news, I feel the need to tell you guys that the lie Buck told Eddie about how he got the cut on his side is based off of a true story!! That's right folks, when I was taking out the trash I genuinely stepped wrong and fell, and cut my back on a rusty mail, only mine was sticking out of a pillar that holds my roof up. By the way, yes. My neighbors did see the whole thing go down. No, they didn't ask if I'm okay. Yes, I am okay. Yes, I am low-key mad at my neighbors. Yes, it's gonna scar. Yes, I'm low-key happy that it will. What? It looks really cool, and I love scars. Yes, I know I have issues.
> 
> On the plus side, during this little break, I gained myself an editor!!! She just so happens to be the friend I'm working on my second fic with. Check out her page, and read her short story on snowflakes!! She's a really talented writer so I definitely recommend her works!!
> 
> Editor/Friend: SaturnWolf1574
> 
> Again I am so sorry for the late updates and the fact that I don't have the other fic I'm working on, that I took this break to complete finished. I feel so bad, I am so sorry!! I hope you enjoy this mess of a chapter anyway!! Let me know what you think, and I'll talk to you all in the next chapter or maybe in the comments, I try to reply to them all. Thank you so much for reading!!💞💞


	7. Final Warning

“Dad?” Buck gasps out at the sight. “W-what are you still doing up?”

“I ask the questions here, Evan.” Richard tells Buck as he stands.

“I-I was um-” Buck stutters, taking a step back, blindly grabbing at the door behind him, desperately trying to find the doorknob.

“Lock the door.” Richard demands, stepping closer. Buck swallows and hesitantly turns around. He turns the lock right above the doorknob.

“And the top." Richard tells him. He’s now standing with his arms crossed about a foot away from Buck. Buck turns back around and reaches up for the top lock on his door. He reluctantly flips the lock before turning back to face his father.

“Have a seat,” Richard instructs Buck, as he motions to the dining room table. If Buck wasn’t so terrified for his life, literally, he might have been pissed off by the irony of his father telling Buck he can sit at his own table. Of course, he can, he bought it. Instead, he walks over to his table and sits in the seat his father is pointing too. He sits with his back to his father, and the door. As if it wasn’t bad enough before, his father just had to stand between him and his only exit, which he can’t even see.

Buck tenses when he feels his father’s hands grab his shoulders.

“What am I going to do with you?” Richard asks rhetorically. Buck just looks down at his hands that are sitting in his lap. “Huh?” Richard asks, leaning forward so his head is next to Buck’s face, in a tone like he’s prompting Buck to offer an actual response.

“You told me you would be home after work, didn’t you?” Richard asks, “Didn’t you?” He asks again, this time in a louder, more aggressive tone when Buck doesn't answer.

“Yes, sir.” Buck replies, in a small voice that wouldn’t have been heard if the room wasn’t silent.

“See that’s what I thought-” Richard starts, finally taking his hands off of Buck’s shoulders and taking a step back. Buck can hear his father begin to pace back and forth behind him but doesn’t dare chance a look. “but then, you go off and disappear for hours on end, without even telling me.”

Buck opens his mouth to say something but decides against it. He quickly shuts his mouth again and watches his hands in his lap as he begins to fiddle with his fingers.

“I’m confused, Evan. That’s the only way I know how to explain it. You say you don’t want me to hurt Eddie or Chris, and you say you don’t want me to go near your team, and then you pull this kind of thing. You say one thing and then do another, Evan, and I must say, it is very frustrating.” Richard finishes, walking back over to the table to stand next to Buck.

“I didn’t mean to. I got distracted and I was gonna call but my phone broke on a call. I’m sorry please don’t hurt them, I didn’t mea-” Buck’s apologizes and pleading get’s cut off when his father grabs the right side of his face and slams his head on the table in front of him. The left side of Buck’s head crashes into the table, erupting in pain. Buck tries to sit up straight again but his attempts are useless against the pressure Richard is still applying on Buck’s head. Richard leans down so his face is Buck’s field of view as he holds his head against the table.

“You know what Evan, I’m getting really tired of your lies. You didn’t forget, did you? You tried to run away.” Richard accuses Buck. 

“No, I didn’t, I swear!” Buck tells Richard as he tries to shake his head.

Richard finally let’s go of Buck’s head, allowing him to sit again. When Buck sits up he slowly brings his left hand up to unconsciously feel around the damage on his face. When he brings his hand away from his face to check for blood his father grabs it by the wrist and slams it palm down against the table. Buck looks up at his father with tears in his eyes from the pain and sees him holding a steak knife. Buck has no idea when he grabbed it but that’s a question for later.

Buck looks at the knife, back down at his hand, at the knife again, then back down to his hand one last time. He puts the pieces together and immediately starts struggling to pull his hand away from his father. He uses his right hand to loosen Richard’s grip on his wrist.

“Keep struggling and you’ll just cause more damage.” Richard threatens Buck while pointing the knife at his face. Buck reluctantly stops struggling. Richard aims the knife at Buck’s hand again. Buck feels helpless. All he can do is shut his eyes tight and brace for whatever his father has planned.

He keeps his eyes shut until he hears the sound of the knife stabbing the table. His eyes snap open and he sees the tip of the knife embedded in his table, only centimeters from Buck’s hand.

“Try this shit again, and I won’t miss.” Richard threatens, releasing Buck’s wrist. When his wrist is free from his father’s grip, Buck pulls his hand off of the table and holds it against his chest in his right hand.

Buck is about to look up at his father to gain at least a partial idea of what is going on through his head when he’s thrown out of his chair and across the floor towards the living room. Buck gasps as he hits the floor and feels all the air in his lungs leave at once.

“What were you doing that distracted you?” Richard asks as he walks closer to Buck.

“I was- was um…” Buck stutter’s trying to think of a lie. He'd much rather take whatever punishment Richard decides is deserved than give up just how much Eddie and Chris mean to him.

“You were what, Evan?!” Richard snaps, pulling Buck closer to his face with a hand on the back of his head. Buck holds back a sob as he closes his eyes once more, not being able to handle seeing the look in his father’s eye anymore. The smug, yet disgusted and rage-filled expression that he’s been sporting since Buck was a child.

“Were you out annoying the people you call ‘friends’?” Richard asks. When Buck opens his eyes and stares back at his father with worry and fear, that gives Richard the answer. Richard lets go of Buck’s head, allowing him to put more space between himself and his father.

“Dammit, Evan! Why? Why do you feel the constant urge to annoy everyone around you with your presence? Those people don’t love you, Hell, they barely even like you. They just put up with you because they have to. You’re their coworker, their colleague, their employee, nothing more. You’re so exhausting.”

Buck sits on the ground in tears as his father puts all of Buck’s insecurities into words. He had these thoughts before, sure, but hearing them aloud and knowing that his father- who has only been in LA and back in Buck’s life for 2 whole days- picks up on them too just makes them feel that much more true.

Buck can’t help but go back to the argument he had with Eddie in the grocery store during the lawsuit when his father calls him exhausting. It shouldn’t hurt this bad. But it does. Eddie said those exact words to him, and even though he apologized for it, Buck can’t help but think that deep down Eddie meant every word he said that day. He wouldn’t have said those things if he didn’t mean them, right?

Buck gets so caught up in his own mind, by the time he realizes, it’s too late.

“Are you even listening to me? Of course, you aren’t, you never do. It’s a miracle that you get anything done.” Richard yells, grabbing Buck’s attention once more.

Before Buck can try to talk himself out of another beating, Richard is standing over top of him, a foot on either side of his waist keeping him from rolling away. He bends down and grabs both of Buck’s wrists in one hand. Buck still tries to fight, despite having the knowledge that he won’t be able to get his hands free. Richard puts a stop to Buck’s resistance with one well-aimed punch to his chest, once again knocking the air out of him. Buck gasps in an attempt to fill his lungs with oxygen again. Richard takes this opportunity to land a couple of punches to Buck’s ribs. Buck cries in pain with each hit, all fight in him leaving more and more with each hit. Richard must’ve picked up on Buck’s aggression leaving because he moves himself into a position to do more damage.

He lets go of Buck’s wrists and walks around him so he’s standing behind Buck rather than straddling him. He grabs Buck’s hair and begins pulling him along his back towards the pillar next to the large apartment window. He stops in front of the pillar and pulls Buck up aggressively, forcing him to move onto his knees to relieve some pressure from his scalp. Richard releases Buck’s scalp and quickly grabs Buck by his face, putting angry pressure on the left side where bruises are already forming. Buck’s hands shoot up to his father’s wrist at the pain. He tries to pull his father away from his face but unsurprisingly to both himself and his father, his attempts are useless.

“Consider this your last warning, Evan. You try some shit like this again, and it’ll be your boyfriend who pays for it.” Before Buck can even acknowledge his understanding of his father’s threat, Richard slams his head back against the pillar.

Before Buck’s vision went black, he had one thought. Not about the horrible pain in his head, or even the pain he feels over his entire body, not about the fear he should feel for nearly getting killed by his own father, but instead he fears what his father will do to his entire world… the Diaz boys.  
\----------

Eddie stands on the front porch watching as Buck’s Jeep speeds out of view. Eddie knows something’s up, he just can’t figure out what. What he does know is it has to do with Richard. Buck might be avoiding Eddie’s questions, but Eddie does have eyes. He can see how tense Buck is all the time, and it only started after Richard came back into his life.

Eddie sighs and runs his hand through his hair. He doesn’t know what’s going on but he’ll figure it out, it’ll just have to wait until later, he has a kid to look after. Christopher. He almost forgot, if he’s confused about Buck running off, he can only imagine how confused Chris is. Eddie turns around and walks back into his house and makes his way to the dining room. When he gets there he is greeted by the sight of a sad Christopher, leaning on the table, poking at his plate with his unfinished pizza crust.

“Daddy, why did Bucky leave so fast? Did I do something wrong?” Chris asks, without even looking up from his plate.

“Of course not, mijo. Buck just remembered he has some errands he needs to run.” Eddie tells his son, gently running his hand through his short blonde curls. “What makes you think you did something?” Eddie asks, taking the open seat next to Christopher.

“Mommy left me, so I was thinking maybe I did something wrong and they were leaving to get away from me,” Chris explains.

Eddie can feel his heartbreak at hearing his son’s thoughts on why people kept leaving. Eddie reaches across the table and grabs his son’s hand. Chris looks up at his father with tears in his eyes.

“I promise you, Christopher, Buck isn’t leaving us. He’s just going through something right now, but don’t worry, me and Bobby are working on.”

“Bobby and I.” Chris corrects Eddie.

“What?” Eddie asks.

“You said ‘me and Bobby’, it’s Bobby and I.” Christ explains.

“Yes, it is. Gosh, you’re so smart. Why don’t you go to bed, I’ll be there in a second to read you a story.” Eddie tells Christopher, with a huge smile. He is so proud of his kid, he doesn’t know what he’d do without him.

“Okay!” Chris says as he slips off the dining room chair and heads into his room. When Chris disappears behind his bedroom door Eddie pulls out his phone, and immediately opens Buck’s contact.

Buck😍  
Eddie: It’s okay I guess, I’ll consider that payback for me doing the dishes lol. Don’t worry about it babe, you could never let us down! I hope you’re having a good time with your father. Goodnight babe, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. 💕💕  
______Yesterday_____________  
Eddie: Hey babe, Im getting pretty worried about you. I know you keep saying youre fine, and I want to believe you. I really do. But when you run out with no explanation like you did tonight it gets pretty damn hard. Im not mad, I promise you im not, im just concerned. Text me back Buck. We need to talk about whatever is going on with you. I love you.  
Delivered 10:24pm

Eddie slips his phone back in his pocket and makes his way down the hall to Chris’s room. When he gets there, Chris is already fast asleep, cuddling a penguin stuffed animal Buck got him from the zoo. Eddie can’t help but smile at the sight before turning off the bedroom light and closing the door. He makes his way to the dining room table and begins cleaning up what’s left from dinner. He can’t help but freeze when he catches sight of the glass Buck was using. Before he can stop himself, Eddie is reaching into his pocket and pulling his phone out again.

No new messages.

Eddie sighs and places his phone on the table before grabbing his empty beer bottle and the half-empty one Buck was drinking. He dumps the rest of the contents of Buck’s into the sink before placing both of the bottles in the recycling.

When he finishes cleaning up the table he just stands behind one of the chairs, staring at his phone that is still laying on the table. He can’t help but get absorbed by his thoughts as he stares.

What is Buck is fine, and he’s just getting tired of me? What if Chris is right and Buck just realized that he can’t do this anymore? He told me this is what he wanted, he said “I want us more than anything” those were his words exactly. Did he get tired? Did I do something wrong? What if I did something wrong? I don’t know what I did but I can fix it. I will fix it. It’s probably Richard. Ugh, even that name makes me want to punch something, specifically his face.

He is snapped out of his trance by the sound of his phone vibrating on the table. He quickly leans across the chair in front of him and grabs it. He nearly drops it when he tries to check the notification.

Bobby  
I found someone to cover yours and Bucks shifts for tomorrow, so you…  
Open iMessage to see full message

Eddie drops his head to his chest before opening Bobby’s message to see the full thing.

Cap🚒  
Cap: I found someone to cover yours and Bucks shifts for tomorrow, so you two are off tomorrow.  
Delivered 10:26pm

Eddie: Thanks Cap! Owe you big time.  
Delivered 10:26pm

Cap: Don’t sweat it Diaz, you two deserve it.  
Delivered 10:26pm

Eddie: Youre still the best!  
Delivered 10:27pm

Cap: Don’t you forget it.  
Delivered 10:27 pm

Eddie: Lol Night, Cap.  
Delivered 10:27 pm

Cap: Goodnight Eddie.  
Delivered 10: 28pm

Eddie is about to text Buck again when he hears yelling coming from down the hall… Christopher. Eddie shoves his phone in his pocket before running into Chris’s room. He turns the light on, makes his way to the bed, and pulls the boy into his lap.

“It’s okay mijo, it was just a dream. It was just a dream. You’re safe, Buck is safe.” Eddie repeats these words into the boy's hair like a mantra. After a few minutes of running his hand through Chris’s hair and verbally calming him down, Chris relaxes.

“C-can I see B-B-Bucky?” Chris asks, in between hiccups. Eddie wants nothing more than to say ”Yes” to say “Of course you can, in fact, he’s right here. He never left and he never would” but instead he’s stuck saying,

“I’ll call him and ask, I’m sure he’d love to see his superman, but he might be asleep right now.” Chris, being the most understandable little kid on the planet, just nods and goes back to cuddling his penguin while Eddie goes to the hall to call Buck.

As expected Buck doesn’t answer, Eddie wishes more than anything that he was wrong.

“Sorry I missed you, I’m probably at work or hanging out with the coolest kid ever! ME! Damn right. BUCK! Right, sorry babe! Leave a message!”

Eddie can’t help but smile at the help but smile at the voicemail message, he still remembers when that was made. Chris made a big deal because it was just the auto-generated message so Buck made sure to make a new one in front of him. Chris was so excited when Buck said Chris was “the coolest kid” he just couldn’t wait until the message was over, so naturally, he yelled and got in the message. Buck didn’t even care, he just said: “I’m glad he got in it, I wouldn’t want it any other way.” Of course, Buck was also happy to have Eddie’s voice in the message too, even though he was yelling at him for swearing.

“Buck, hey, it’s Eddie. Um, listen, Chris had another nightmare and he was hoping he could see you. I get that you’re not here, and I’m fine with that, I was just hoping you could, I don’t know, call or FaceTime him. Just so he can make sure you’re okay. Call me back, please. I love you.”

Eddie presses the hang-up button and finds himself staring at the messages between himself and Buck.

Buck😍  
Eddie: Hey babe, Im getting pretty worried about you. I know you keep saying youre fine, and I want to believe you. I really do. But when you run out with no explanation like you did tonight it gets pretty damn hard. Im not mad, I promise you im not, im just concerned. Text me back Buck. We need to talk about whatever is going on with you. I love you.  
Delivered 10:24pm

Eddie: Babe, please text me back. It’s been about half an hour, and usually I wouldn’t text again but we need to talk. Youve been acting really strange lately and im getting really worried. Text me back.  
Delivered 11:05pm

Eddie makes his way back to Chris’s room and catches Chris opening his eyes.

“Bucky?” Chris asks tiredly.

“I’m sorry, not today buddie. He’s already asleep.”

“That’s okay,” Chris says, rolling over sleepily, “at least he’s getting some rest.” Before Eddie can ask what Chris means by that, Christopher is asleep for the second time that night. Eddie watches his son for a few minutes, just to make sure he’s okay before heading to his own room.

Buck😍  
…gets pretty damn hard. Im not mad, I promise you im not, im just concerned. Text me back Buck. We need to talk about whatever is going on with you. I love you.  
Delivered 10:24pm

Eddie: Babe, please text me back. It’s been about half an hour, and usually I wouldn’t text again but we need to talk. Youve been acting really strange lately and im getting really worried. Text me back.  
Delivered 11:05pm

Eddie: Buck, text me back. Im getting really worried. Chris said hes “glad youre getting sleep” what does that mean? Buck have you been sleeping?  
Delivered 11:17pm

Eddie: Buck. Cap gave us off tomorrow. Did you even see his text? Did I do something wrong? If I did tell me what it is, im sure theres an explanation or something. Text me back.  
Delivered 11:28pm

Eddie: Evan.  
Delivered 11:34pm

Eddie: Text. Me. Back.  
Delivered 11:34pm

Eddie: Evan. Im significantly less angry now, and remarkably more worried. Text me back. Soon.  
Delivered 11:50pm

Eddie: Evan Buckley. I swear if you dont text me back soon, i will show up at your house. I know you sleep with your ringer up so i know your awake.  
Delivered 12:01am

Eddie: Buck. Im worried sick. Please just text me back. Or call me, something. Please. I love you so much.  
Delivered 12:13am

Eddie paces back and forth, chewing on his nails while staring at his screen. Buck never takes longer than 10 minutes to reply unless he’s on call. Even when he’s asleep he wakes up to reply to texts, it used to annoy Eddie but now it’s just scaring him. Eddie quickly scrolls through his contacts and finds Bobby’s. 

Desperate times call for desperate measures.  
\----------

Bobby is laying in bed, his arm wrapped around Athena when his phone buzzes. Thinking it must be Buck texting him to thank him for having off, he turns and grabs his phone off the nightstand.

Bobby isn’t someone who gets worried over small things like texts, but even he can detect the anxiety radiating off of the message he just received.

Eddie  
Cap: Don’t you forget it.  
Delivered 10:27 pm

Eddie: Lol Night, Cap.  
Delivered 10:27 pm

Cap: Goodnight Eddie.  
Delivered 10: 28pm

Eddie: Bobby have you seen Buck recently?? Ive been trying to get ahold of him all night he wont text me back, he wont answer my calls, Im not one to get all worked up like this but Im fucking scared  
Delivered 12:20am

Bobby: I sent him a text saying he had off at the same time I sent you yours and he never replied, I just figured he was asleep. Do you know for certain hes not just sleeping?  
Delivered 12:20am

Eddie: Hes not, he always wakes up when someone texts him, hes afraid its something important everytime and hes afraid to let people down by not retooling right away, he would definitely wake up when someone calls him  
Delivered 12:20am

Bobby: Now that you mention it, he always replies immediately, no matter what.  
Delivered 12:21am

Bobby: Ill tell you what, Ill drop by his place and check on him, just in case.  
Delivered 12:21am

Eddie: Thank you so much Bobby!! Let me know what you find out  
Delivered 12:21am

Bobby: Will do  
Delivered 12:21am

Eddie: Oh and Bobby, be careful. I think this might have something to do with Richard. Hes been really suspicious lately and Buck was fine until he showed up.  
Delivered 12:22am

Bobby: I know what you mean, I was thinking the same thing. Ill call you later with my findings  
Delivered 12:22am

Bobby sits up in bed, thoughts of what could have happened to Buck racing through his head. He leans over and gently shakes Athena’s shoulder, waking her from her sleep.

“What time is it?” Athena asks, keeping her eyes closed hoping for a little extra sleep.

“12:23.” Bobby simply replies, gently throwing the comforter off of his legs.

“In the morning?” Athena asks, finally sitting up.

“Yup,” Bobby confirms, standing from the bed. Athena watches as her husband shuffles around the room, grabbing a pair of jeans, his jacket, his car keys, and his phone.

“You gonna tell me what’s going on?” Athena asks nervously and slightly annoyed.

“Oh, sorry. I got a text from Eddie, he seemed really upset and concerned about Buck. I’m gonna go check on him, I wanted to let you know in case you woke up and I was just missing.” Bobby quickly explains. Athena nods.

“Are you sure Diaz isn’t overreacting? You know how those two are. They act like they’ve been married for years.”

“I don’t know, Eddie seemed really worried. I’m just gonna check up on Buck real quick, then I’ll be back home before you wake up for work in the morning.” Bobby tells Athena with a quick peck. 

“Okay. Be safe, hun.” Athena tells him.

“Always.” With that, Bobby shoves his phone in his back pocket and heads out the door. As he gets in his car he tries calling Buck one more time. But of course, the only response he gets from the other side is Buck’s signature voicemail message.

“Sorry I missed you, I’m probably at work or hanging out with the coolest kid ever! ME! Damn right. BUCK! Right, sorry, babe! Leave a message!”

Followed by the most disappointing “beep” Bobby has ever heard in his life.  
\----------

“Consider this your last warning, Evan. You try some shit like this again, and it’ll be your boyfriend who pays for it.” He warns his son before slamming his head against the pillar of the window. He lets go of his son's face and watches as Buck falls unconsciously to the ground. Richard walks away, leaving Buck laying on the ground next to the window. He makes his way over to the sink, making quick work of washing Buck’s blood off his hands.

Richard is in the process of drying off his hands when someone starts knocking on the apartment door. Richard drops the towel he was using in the trash. He stands in the kitchen frozen, waiting to see if the knocking continues. As expected, it does.

Richard finally moves out of the kitchen and makes his way to Buck’s unconscious body. He grabs his son’s by his arms and throws his body over his shoulder. He quickly walks over to a closet in the living room and drops Buck’s body in it. He grabs a sweatshirt from one of the hangers above and shoves the hood in Buck’s mouth, and ties it around his head with the sleeves. He quickly ties Buck’s hands and feet together with two pairs of sweatpants he finds. After Buck is tied he closes the door to the closet, leaving Buck in the dark.

He quickly runs into the dining room and does the best he can at hiding any blood the Buck might have left around.

Damn kid. Can’t even get knocked out without leaving a mess.

When the knocking quickens Richard abandons his mission to hide the blood and just sheds himself of his bloodied shirt and answers the door, after throwing it in the trash.

“Hello?” Richard greets the person on the other side of the door, in the best ‘morning voice’ impression he can muster.

“Richard? Oh, um, hi. Sorry to bother you so late.” the man on the other side says.

“Captain Robert Nash? What can I do for you? Is everything alright?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead!! I am so so so very sorry for the hecka long wait guys!! I swear I haven't forgotten about this I just didn't have the motivation to finish this chapter and my school took our computers back so I had to borrow my mom's and sister's computers in order to finish. I think I promised someone awhile bach that I would have this chapter up soon... that was a lie. I am so sorry to you all!! I really don't deserve you guys because I already know you guys are gonna say it's okay. I love you guys so much thank you for the support and love after each chapter no matter how long it takes to upload.
> 
> On a side note: since the last time I updated my dog bit me. She got my hand pretty good when she was trying to get my sister's boyfriend so now I have 4 new scars, a relatively big one on my palm, and 3 small ones on the back of my hand.
> 
> Also... I am going on vacation to Tennessee on Saturday and will be gone until July 3rd, so I will try to update again before then but I will make no promises after what happened last time I did... Sorry again. Speaking of updating conflicts, my field hockey preseason and summer lacrosse season are starting soon so my calendar is about to get hella busy. I am still planning on updating but I don't know how often that'll happen.
> 
> In other news, this fic is coming to an end. There are still going to be a few more chapters, I'm not 100% sure how many more, but the end is near. I have been thinking about making a sequel, but I wanted to get your guys's (English is my first and low-key only language I swear lol) opinion. Let me know if you would like a sequel, if you want to wait until the end of this fic to decide, I completely understand. I have also been thinking about starting a new fic. I would wait until this one is finished obviously (my updating schedule is fucked as is, I don't need another distraction lol). If you would be interested in hearing my idea for the plot for that one (it's another 911 fic specifically buddie 😝) let me know, I would be more than happy to give you guys my idea so far (no spoilers.) Let me know!!
> 
> ALSO THIS IS REALLY PISSING ME OFF!!! I write each chapter in Google Docs then transfer it to AO3 to publish, so when I write in Google Docs I use bolding, italics, and underlines but when I transfer it over it doesn't stay!!! I JUST WANT MY BOLDING AND ITALICS, AND UNDERLINING!!! If anyone, ANYONE knows how to make it stop doing that, please please PLEASE let me know. I have tried using an iPad, iPhone, Macbook, and Chromebook. It won't work!!! 😭😭
> 
> I love you guys so much!!! I really hope you like this chapter, and I really hope it was worth the wait!!! I am so sorry for the wait it was way too long I know!!! Love you all!!!! 😘🥰💕💕


	8. Rash Behavior + Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby drops by Buck's place to check-in to figure out what's going on with Buck. Buck just about has another panic attack, and Eddie is losing his shit and his mind.

“Captain Robert Nash? What can I do for you? Is everything alright?” Richard asks.

“Um, well actually I was wondering if you knew where Bu- Evan is?” Captain Nash asks, rocking nervously.

“Yeah, he's at Eddie's house.” Richard tells the captain. In all honesty, he has no idea where ‘Buck’ was before he returned, but he does know that with that Diaz boy is the safest bet. As much as Richard was hoping he was able to beat it out of Evan, he can see the feelings his son has for his coworker.

“He was earlier, but Eddie texted me earlier saying he was really worried. He hasn’t been answering any of our calls or texts, so I figured I’d stop by to see if he was here.” Bobby explains trying to stay calm, but there’s a sense of urgency to his display.

“He hasn’t come by here at all. I’m sorry. Do you think he’s in trouble?” Richard asks, trying to sound concerned.

“I can’t say for sure, I’m sorry. If there’s still no sign of him tomorrow I’ll talk to my wife. She's a police sergeant, she’ll know what to do. I will keep you updated. Please let us know if you hear anything from him.” Bobby tells Richard.

“Yeah, yeah of course.” Richard promises the captain.

“Thank you, and please keep an eye out for him.”

“Of course! Let me know if you see him or hear from him.” Richard tells Bobby, trying to sound like a concerned parent. He knows he hit his objective spot on, he’s had years of practice.

“Will do!” Bobby promises before leaving Ricahrd to himself.

Richard closes the apartment door with a sigh of relief. He turns around to face the dining room. He debates whether or not to clean the blood up in case he gets another unwanted visitor, maybe a more reluctant to leave one. He inevitably decides against it, deciding he’ll just make Buck clean it up later.

Richard makes his way to the kitchen and grabs a beer from the fridge. He takes his beer into the living room and flops down onto the couch. He leans forwards and grabs the remote for the TV off of the coffee table in front of the couch. He turns the television on and decides to see what Netflix has to offer.

As he’s scrolling through the home page to find something interesting to start he hears light banging coming from the closet.

“Looks like somebody finally woke up.” Richard says into the empty room. The banging picks up at the sound of his voice.

“Evan, I’m trying to watch TV here. Keep it down would ya.” Richard yells to Buck as he clicks on a show called How To Get Away With Murder.

How fucking ironic.

Buck continues banging on the closet, each hit getting more desperate and the breaks between them getting shorter. Richard simply turns the volume up on the television.  
\----------

It’s dark. Why is it so damn dark? Why does my head hurt so badly? My face too. Why can’t I talk? What’s in my mouth? Why can’t I move? I-I can’t breathe! Where am I? Where’s Eddie? Is Eddie okay? Chris! Is Christopher okay? What’s happening?

The thoughts run through Buck’s head a mile a minute. He can’t handle not knowing. He looks around the small space hoping that’ll help him, even though he knows it won’t. He can’t see, it’s too damn dark. He slowly brings his hands up to his face.

Are those… my sweatpants?

He wonders as he gets a quick glance at the outline of fabric. He makes a move to stand but immediately regrets it as he gets hit with a wave of nausea and dizziness. He decides instead to lean back and rest his head on the wall behind him. Little did he know the wall behind him would give way causing him to fall backwards.

He hits the ground with a painful thud. He groans in pain and decides to just lay down and access the situation a little more. He can almost hear Bobby scolding him and telling him to slow down, figure out where he is, what’s happening, and how he got here, make a plan, then put the plan into action.

So he does just that. He slowly gets himself into a seated position, it takes longer than he hoped it would but he has to stop mid action to stop himself from throwing up multiple times. When he finally gets into position he looks down at his body. After accessing his arms and legs he comes to the conclusion that his legs and hands are tied to each other with some article of clothing, most likely sweatpants. He also figures that he has another piece of clothing in his mouth and it must be tied around his head because he can’t get it off his damn face.

He thinks back to before he was trapped in, what he deduced was his closet, that one he found out when the “wall”, which turns out was just his hanging laundry, moved with his body weight when he leaned back. He remembers the conversation with his father, and almost getting stabbed in his hand. He also remembers getting dragged by his hair over to his window after taking a few blows to his chest and face. The last thing he remembers before he woke up was the feeling of strong pain and the thumping of his brain as his head was slammed against the window pillar. 

Then nothing.

Or at least, nothing until he woke up, scared, alone, and in pain in the dark.

He hears footsteps outside of the closet, he can’t help but feel relieved at the thought of being outside again. As much as he hates his father, and being in his vicinity, especially alone, he would give anything to be outside again. In the light, being able to move freely, to breathe normally.

He should’ve known it was too good to be true as he hears the footsteps get further away. The footsteps stop and are replaced by the sound of Netflix opening. Buck can physically feel his heart break at the thought of being locked in this closet any longer than he already has been.

He repositions his body so he is on his knees facing the door. He starts banging on the closet door, trying to get his father’s attention. Something he has never done before.

“Looks like somebody finally woke up.” He hears his father say. Whether or not he was talking to himself or to Buck he doesn’t know, but it’s something.

Buck starts knocking harder, faster and louder.

“Evan, I’m trying to watch TV here. Keep it down would ya.” Is the only response he gets.

Come on, come on, come on. Get up you lazy piece of shit. Let me out! 

Buck thinks on repeat, pounding on the door desperately now. He’s not sure how much more of this he can take. He’s losing it. He needs to get out.

Of course Richard only turns the volume up on the television, drowning out Buck’s whimpers and attempts at getting out.

Please.  
\----------

Eddie can’t help but pace back and forth as he waits for word from Bobby. He knows him panicking and worrying isn’t going to help, but he just can’t sit still. He can’t help it. He loves Buck too much to do anything other than panic.

Eddie is about to text Bobby again when his phone buzzes on the counter. Eddie is at it in a second opening the new message from his captain.

Cap🚒  
Cap: I know what you mean, I was thinking the same thing. Ill call you later with my findings  
Delivered 12:22am

Eddie: I know i said ill wait for you but im losing my shit over here. Did you find him yet???  
Delivered 12:35am

Eddie: Bobby i need you to text me back  
Delivered 12:38am

Eddie: Please bobby. Buck still hasnt replied  
Delivered 12:44am

Eddie: Have you got to his place yet? Is he there?  
Delivered 12:49am

Eddie: Did Richard do something to him??  
Delivered 12:52am

Eddie: Its been awhile bobby are you still there??  
Delivered 12:56am

Eddie: Bobby i swear im about to go down there myself  
Delivered 1:10am

Eddie: Booby please.  
Delivered 1:13am

Eddie: Text me back  
Delivered 1:18am

Cap: Eddie, sorry it took awhile. You should probably come over to mine and Athena’s. Buck wasn’t there but Athena thinks there’s something wrong, and I think she’s right. Bring Chris. See you in a bit.  
Delivered 1:22am

Eddie doesn’t hesitate to grab his phone and a sweatshirt. He goes into his son’s room and carries him into the truck.

“Where are we going Daddy?” Chris asks, as Eddie buckles him in the backseat.

“We’re going on a little field trip.” Eddie tells his son in the most calm and collected tone he can muster. He hates lying to his son, which technically he isn’t but he’s not telling him the whole truth.

“Will Bucky be there?” Christopher asks, with a huge smile on his face.

“I’m not sure buddy, hopefully.” Eddie replies, giving Chris a kiss on the top of his head.

Eddie quickly drives over to Bobby and Athena’s, trying his hardest not to speed. It’s hard but he manages, but only because Chris is in the car. By the time Eddie pulls into the driveway Chris is already asleep. Eddie unbuckles his son and carries him up to the porch. He’s just about to knock when the door opens. Athena is standing on the other side.

“Morning.” Athena greets Eddie.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Eddie apologies as he walks into the living room.

“I’m just teasing love, I’m actually glad you texted Bobby. I’m surprised you didn’t just stop by on your own.” Athena replies, heading into the kitchen.

“I was thinking about it.” Eddie tells her.

“Good thing you didn’t. Here, I’ll put Chris in Harry’s room, Harry said he’ll take the floor.” Bobby informs Eddie, taking the sleeping child from Eddie.

“Thank you so much.” Eddie thanks Bobby as he releases his son into Bobby’s care.

“It’s our pleasure, here, have a seat.” Athena tells Eddie as she comes back out of the kitchen with two mugs filled with coffee. Eddie takes one of them and follows her into the living room. The two sit on the couch making small talk while they wait for Bobby to come back from Henry’s room.

“Thanks for coming Eddie.” Bobby says as he joins the other two in the living room.

“Yeah, no problem. So what did you find out?” Eddie asks, jumping right to the point.

“Okay, so when I got there Buck’s Jeep was in the parking lot, but when I knocked Richard answered. I asked if he knew where Buck was but he said he was with you.” Bobby starts to explain.

“No, he left. That’s why I texted you.”

“I know, that’s what I told him. He said that he hasn’t seen or heard from Buck since he went to your place. He told us he’d keep us updated and asked for us to do the same. I told him we would but-” Bobby suddenly loses his voice.

“What is it Bobby? You’re freaking me out.” Eddie asks, looking between him and Athena.

“Eddie, I- I saw blood on the floor and wall.” Bobby finishes.

Eddie feels all the blood drain from his face. He should’ve fucking known. Of course Buck wasn’t okay. He never would’ve left that suddenly without an explanation.

“Eddie… are you okay?” Athena asks quietly, not wanting to set him off.

“Huh? Oh no, yeah I’m perfect. Just fucking peachy. I mean, why wouldn't I be? I just found out my boyfriend, and quite frankly the love of my life, has been abused by his father for who knows how long, and none of us knew. I didn’t know. I couldn’t help him. I let him leave. How could I have done that? I knew something was wrong, but I let him leave. Fuck.” Eddie never raises his voice, and that might be one of the scariest things about his rant, right next to the truth behind his words. At the end, Eddie drops his face into his hands.

Athena wants to comfort the man, to place a loving hand on his back, but she doesn’t. She knows it’ll just set off his fight or flight reflex, and everyone knows Eddie’s go to response is fight.

“Me and Athena have been talking, and we think we have an idea on how to get him back.” Bobby tells Eddie in a soft voice. This gets Eddie to look up.

“What is it?” Eddie asks without hesitation. He’d do anything for Buck and everyone knows it.

Athena and Bobby look at each other before they return their glances back to Eddie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's not dead!!  
> That is right my friends. I am still alive, and just as full of shit as ever.
> 
> "I'll try to update soon." She says.  
> "I have a chapter in progress." She says  
> Well, she lies.  
> I did actually have the next chapter in progress I just never went through with publication, and I am so so so sorry. I promise that I will be updating more often now that school is starting back up and I will be bored out of my mind, but I have been trying to hang out with my boyfriend as much as possible before he left for college. The next chapter is in progress I just need to figure out where I want to take this chapter and what the plan is exactly for the rest of the fic.
> 
> In other news, I have another injury story for you all. It's essentially tradition at this point.  
> Okay so I have gotten so many blisters on my feet from playing so much lacrosse and field hockey, and they kept reopening from playing so much that now I have hecka scars on my feet from them. Sorry for the kinda nasty feet story but next injury can be about how I have nerve damage in 3/5 of my toes on my right foot if you guys don't' mind the feet injuries. It's a little old of a story (happened last year) but it's a goodie.
> 
> In fic related news: Awhile back I got a comment asking if this fic took place during the time that Buck was still on blood thinners and I told them I would think about it and get back to them, then I thought about it and never got back to them... like a liar. But I finally remembered to do so. So to answer their question, no Buck is not on blood thinners in this fic. With the amount of blood loss Buck goes through, he would most likely be dead if he was on blood thinners. With that in mind, I am not a doctor, and I have the literal bare minimum of medical knowledge so I apologize for any medical inaccuracies that may ensue. I will be adding that in the tags and will most likely add this to notes in later chapters again, but I wanted to get that out there now, while I remember.
> 
> But anyway, I am so very sorry about such a long wait, it has literally been months, I am so sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!! Please forgive me!! I am so sorry!!😭😭💕💕
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!! Sorry that this chapter is a little shorter than what you guys are used to, I hope you like it nonetheless!! Feel free to let me know, your comments are always the highlight of my day!!💕💕🥰


	9. Let's Do This Thing

Buck is now leaning on the back wall of the closet. His shoulder, hands, and forearms are now humming with pain and are definitely littered with bruises. Buck is resting his head on the wall behind him. He’d given up on trying to get his father’s attention and has settled for just listening to the muffled sounds of the television playing through the wall. He completely zoned out, he almost doesn’t notice the sounds of the television stopping.

Buck hears his father’s footsteps from outside the closet get closer. He can’t help but lift his head off the wall when he hears the closet door unlock. Buck shuts his eyes tightly and brings his hands up to his face to shield himself from the sudden brightness of the living room.

“Morning, Evan. Sleep well?” Richards asks with the same cocky smile he always wore when Buck was a child. Buck just looks up at his father with a neutral look. His mind is too far behind to process what’s actually happening.

Richard crouches down, so he’s eye level with his son. When he reaches forwards, Buck can’t help but flinch backwards.

“Calm down. I’m just untying you. You can’t go to work looking like this, that is unless you’re not going today.” Richard teases. Buck physically tenses at the thought. He shakes his head vigorously, the only way he can communicate how much he hates that idea.

“I thought not. Need I remind you what’ll happen if you try something?” Richard asks, as he unties, what Buck can now confirm is his sweatpants, freeing his hands. Buck doesn’t hesitate to reach up and pull the sweatshirt out of his mouth. He hasn’t realized how dry his mouth is until he goes to assure his father he won’t try anything. He then settles for just shaking his head.

“Good. Now get out here and clean up all this blood. We wouldn’t want people asking questions would we?” Richard asks rhetorically. Richard walks away, leaving the closet door open.

Buck keeps staring at the spot his father was standing only seconds before. After about a minute, Buck snaps out of his trance and begins to free his legs from the makeshift bind his father put them in. After he’s free he hesitantly pulls himself up into standing position. He stumbles a bit before he gets good footing underneath him.

Buck slowly walks out of the closet and looks around the room slowly for any sight of Richard. When he comes up empty he walks further into the living room. Buck makes his way around his apartment slowly, looking at the blood around the floor and wall from the night before. He quickly checks the clock, after deciding he has enough time before he needs to be at work he heads into the kitchen and grabs an old cloth and some carpet cleaner and begins working on a bloodstain in the living room.

After about an hour of hardcore scrubbing, Buck finally gets most of the blood out of the carpet and walls. He checks the clock again and decides he should get himself cleaned up and finish working around the house later. He makes his way up to his room where he pulls out a fresh shirt and pair of pants. He can’t stomach looking at what was once his bed. What he once considered his safe space. A place he could go to just be by himself, with no one else around. To cry about a character death in a show, or laugh at a funny text someone sent in the 118 family group chat, or even sometimes cry after waking up from a nightmare, in a cold sweat screaming out Christopher's name. Now he doesn’t even have that. Of course, his father took that away from him too.

He makes his way into the bathroom to take a quick shower and check out the damage his father did to him. As he walks in the bathroom, he can’t help but get distracted by his reflection in the mirror.

Buck is at a loss for words when he sees his reflection. He almost doesn’t recognize the person looking back at him. Dried blood is caked on his face and head, most of it is gathered on his forehead, where his father bashed his head into the pillar. His face is covered in dried blood and is littered in bruises. His left cheek bone is covered by a distinct purple and blue bruise from taking the brunt of hitting the table the night before. There’s an angry, red handprint forming on the right side of his face from being pinned down. When Buck reaches up to feel his bruising face, he catches sight of a purple bruise forming on his wrists, the one on his left wrist just slightly worse. He feels pain radiate from his chest and back as he raises his arms. Carefully, Buck removes his shirt to examine the skin that’s hidden underneath the fabric. Buck’s eyes widen, as he catches sight of a large bruise on his chest and across his ribs. He turns to show his back to the mirror, and strains his neck to catch sight of the bruises littered across his back. Buck lets out a sigh as he rests his pounding head in his hands. Buck ignores the pain in order to discard the rest of his clothing to get in the shower. 

\----------

Eddie paces around his living room, ever since his conversation with Bobby and Athena he’s been on edge. He really hopes this plan works, he has no idea what he’ll do if it doesn’t.  
  


“I’m ready, Dad!” Chris calls from the hall as he makes his way to the living room.

“Okay bud, let’s get going.” Eddie ruffles his son’s head as he grabs his keys to get into his truck.

After dropping Chris off at school, he anxiously drives to the 118. He is so not ready for this to go down today. 

_ What if Buck takes their concern the wrong way and he pushes them away? What if Richard kills Buck because of their suspicion? What if they read the whole situation wrong and Buck really is just part of a fight club and he freaks out because Eddie assumed his father was hitting him? _

“Eddie?”

_ What if Buck breaks up with Eddie because Eddie couldn't keep to himself like Buck asked? Eddie really can’t live without having Buck in his life. Sure they’ll still work together, but what if Buck switches shifts? Or worse, what if he switches firehouses? _

“Eddie?”

_  
What if he moves back to Pennsylvania to avoid Eddie? That would crush him, not only him but Chris. Oh no, what would Chris do?  
_

“Eddie?”

_  
Would Chris blame Eddie? Of course he would, Eddie would blame himself too.  
_

“Eddie!” Eddie is finally brought from his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder and a voice calling his name. Eddie looks over and sees Hen sitting on the couch next to him in the loft of the firehouse. Eddie was so caught up in his thoughts, he didn’t even realize he walked into the firehouse, nonetheless made it up to the loft.

“You okay?” Hen asks calmly, gently rubbing his shoulder in a soothing manner.

“Yeah I’m good, I just… got lost in my thoughts.”

“Hey now Edmundo, now's not the time to let your anxiety get the better of you.” Athena tells Eddie in her motherly voice, as she walks in from the kitchen with a glass of water.

“Yeah, sorry. It’s just, I can’t help feeling like if we mess this up, if I mess this up, what’ll happen. I can’t lose Buck.” Eddie rests his head in his hands trying to calm his breathing, he can’t lose control now. Athena sits on the couch next to Eddie and gently rubs his back.

“I know, sweetie, but we can’t get caught up in thoughts like that. Buck’s safety and well being are so much more important than those thoughts. We have to do this for him, and you know Buck, he’s a big golden retriever, he’d forgive us, especially you in no time.” Eddie looks up at Athena.

“He’s too good for us.” Eddie tells Athena with a small smile.

“Ain’t that the truth.” Athena chuckle, and hands the glass of water to Eddie. Eddie takes a sip before placing the cup on the table in front of him. He’s about to continue his conversation with Athena, but is cut off when he notices Buck walking up the stairs to the loft.

__  
Let’s do this thing.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friendings!! Guess who's not dead!! That's riiiight I just have a horrible update schedule! I'm sorry this update is so short, I just came to a that I thought was a nice little ending. The next chapter will be out soon (I promise, this is not a lie.... hopefully). Don't worry we're coming up on a group of chapters that I have already written so those updates will be nearly back to back.
> 
> I'm so so so sorry for the delay and the short chapter, I do really hope you still like it!! Please feel free to let me know what you think in the comments, they're always the highlight of my day!!
> 
> Anyway... story time!!  
> Which injury to share this time, there are a bunch to choose from. It's been so long since I updated, the field hockey season is over so I have all those injuries to pick from. I think I'll go with my most painful one...  
> So in field hockey I'm on the circle in the 4 spot for corners, for anyone who doesn't know what that means, when we get a penalty for my team in a specific spot on the field, my job is to run in front of the other teams goalie as my teammate shoots the ball at the goal, and by extension me, so I can tip the ball into the cage. When we were doing this during practice my teammate shot the ball and hit me instead of the cage. I got a huge bruise on my right quad that kept growing until it was essentially the size of my quad. The bruise finally started to fade after about a month, and it is now almost completely gone. However, when it was healing it started to harden, which means my leg was bleeding under the skin which could cause a hematoma, or a blood clot. I have to go to the athletic trainers twice a week to get it stretched and to get an ultrasound on it to prevent the clotting. It still hurts, especially to the touch. ✌  
> Story time over.
> 
> Anyway, for anyone who read all that, Thank you!! I love you all, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter, despite the short length. LOVE YOU GUYS!!!💕💕
> 
> Alsooo for anyone who's still reading this:  
> 1\. you're crazy... I love it  
> 2\. should I change the title of this fic? I was thinking "Rules and Regulations" because of the continued use of "Rule #_ of living with Richard Buckley", but I'm not sure... what do you think??


	10. So It Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is a little random but I have noticed that chapters 7, 9, and 10 do not have summaries. Would you guys like the remaining chapters to have summaries? Do they make it easier? Are they spoilers? Let me know please!! Enjoy!! 💞

As Buck reaches the top of the stairs to the loft he can feel everyone’s eyes on him. He freezes and looks over to the couch where the 118 are gathered, watching him. He immediately begins to panic, did he miss a spot? His father did some real damage to him last night, if he missed a bruise it’s over for him.

“W-what’s going on?” Buck asks, his nerves peeking through as he speaks.

“Hey Buckaroo, come join us.” Athena calls over to him, patting the spot on the couch between her and Eddie.

“Um… I don’t know Thena, I was gonna get some chores done before we get a call.” Buck replies, rubbing his sweaty palms on his pant legs.

“Don’t be silly, you can do them later. Please Buckaroo, I’m gonna be heading out soon anyway.” Athena pleads knowing full well that Buck could never say no to her.

“Fine, but only for a little.” Buck tells her, walking towards the rest of the crew. He sits in the cushion Athena directed him to before and looks around at the groups. Hen is sitting on the single armchair, with Chim standing behind her, leaning on the back of the chair. Bobby, who was in the kitchen, is now making his way towards the rest of the group.

“Hey kiddo, we need to talk.” Bobby says to Buck when he reaches the group. Buck watches as Bobby sits on the coffee table in front of Buck.

“W-we do?” Buck asks, looking around the group.

“Yeah, we do.” Athena chimes in. Buck looks over at Eddie, before looking back at Bobby.

“D-did I do something? Am I getting fired? I promise I’ll do better, I promise! Please don’t fire me Bobby, whatever I did I’ll fix it, I just- I need this job!” Buck speaks quickly, not giving Bobby time to correct him.

“Buck, Buck calm down, you’re not getting fired.” Bobby leans forwards and gently places his hands in Buck’s forearms to grab his attention. It works, maybe a little too much, cause when Bobby’s hand touches him, Buck flinches. Bobby immediately takes his hand away, whatever is going on is much worse than he thought.

“We want to ask you some questions hun, and we want you to be completely honest with us. If at any time we get too nosy or too personal, please feel free to stop us, but we want to help you. You know you can trust us right?” Athena joins in the conversation from Buck’s side.

“Y-yeah, of course I know that.” Buck looks over at Athena for a second before he averts his eyes.

“Okay, well, there’s really no better way to ask this, than to just ask it. Buck, hun, your father, is he... hurting you?” Athena asks, hesitantly. The last thing she wants to do is scare Buck away, and she’s afraid prodding in his personal life, and relationship with his father might just do that. Athena watches as Buck tenses up, and folds closer in on himself.

“W-what? N-n-no of course not!” Buck tells the groups nervously once he gains his composure again.

“Listen, baby, I love you, we all do, but we can’t help you if you don’t talk to us.” Eddie carefully moves closer to Buck, cautious of how close he gets to his boyfriend.

“I- Thank you, really guys, but there’s nothing to worry about. I’m- I’m fine. Promise.” Buck tells them, still staring at his feet as he nervously massages the palm of his left hand with his right thumb.

“Okay, okay I believe you.” Eddie tells Buck, not missing his boyfriend’s nervous tick.

“Thank yo-” Buck starts, before getting cut off by Eddie.

“ _ If _ you can look Christopher in the eyes tonight, and promise him that you’re perfectly fine, and nothing is going on with you. He's worried about you too, you know.” Buck’s head snaps up, and his eyes meet Eddie’s. For a second, Buck is composed, shocked by the request but that’s expected. But after that second, he breaks. Tears fill his bright blue eyes, his lip quivers and his hands start to shake.

“I’m not okay.” Buck says just barely above a whisper before he falls into Eddie’s chest, sobbing. Eddie gently wraps his arms around his boyfriend and gives his one tight squeeze before he settles on just being a source of comfort.

“I wanted to tell you, I did, I promise, but... ”

“Take your time sweetie, no one’s rushing you.” Athena tells Buck, as she runs her hand up and down Buck’s back in a soothing manner.

“He- he threatened me, and- and you, and Chris. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” Buck tells Eddie, clinging to him like he’s afraid he’ll disappear if he lets go, and the sad thing is, that’s exactly what he fears.

“Hey, don’t you dare apologize for that. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Eddie gently chastises him.

“Yes I did! He- he threatened Chris, and I still told you, oh no, he’s gonna hurt you and Chris now, and it’s my fault. I need to go.” Buck releases his grip on Eddie’s shirt and looks towards the stairs to leave. He stands up and takes a few steps away from the couch and the group, looking like he’s about to bolt, but stops dead in his tracks when his eyes meet the teary eyes of his big sister, standing at the top of the stairs to the loft.

“Mads...” Buck starts, but is at a loss on how to continue.

“Oh, Evan.” Maddie runs over to her little brother and pulls him into a hug. Buck stiffens for a second before falling into her embrace.

“I- I tried. I tried to fight him off, but… it got worse…  _ he  _ got worse.” Buck says in between sobs. Maddie gently lowers herself and her little brother to the ground where they cry together. The rest of the 118 look away from the siblings, giving them as much privacy as they can.

“I don’t like this. I don’t like using Chris against him like this, he loves that kid more than anything in this world.” Eddie whispers to Bobby and Athena, resting his head in his hands, as his elbows are propped on his knees.

“I know, I don’t like the idea anymore than you do, but we need him to open us to him. We need to help him.” Bobby explains, putting a consoling hand on his shoulder.

“I know, I just feel like I’m betraying him.” Eddie explains, looking up at Bobby.

“I’m sorry sweetie, we should have made sure you were okay with this plan more before we put it into action.” Athena joins in, before taking a sip of her coffee.

“Don’t be, I’ll get over it, besides, helping Buck is more important than how I feel right now.” Eddie brushes it off, he shouldn’t have brought it up.

“Hey, none of that. Your feelings are so important, we’ll talk more about this after this situation is over, okay?” Bobby tells him when he notices Buck and Maddie making their way back their way. Eddie nods once, then stands up making room for Buck and Maddie to sit next to each other on the couch.

“Wait… Eds, please don’t leave. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to put Chris in danger.” Buck says, frantically grabbing Eddie’s arm to stop him from going any further. Eddie looks at Buck with a raised eyebrow before he realizes what it looks like.

“Hey, Buck, don't worry. I’m not leaving, okay? I was just making room for you and Maddie on the couch so you could sit next to each other.” Eddie explains, softly.

“Can you… can you sit next to me… please?” Buck asks nervously, as if Eddie could ever say no to him.

“Of course.” Eddie assures him.

“Here, I’ll move, you can sit here Maddie.” Athena offers her seat.

“No, no, you stay, I’ll sit on the ground in front of Buck.” Maddie tells her before she can make a move to stand. Buck sits on the center cushion of the couch, with Eddie and Athena on either side of him. Bobby moves so he is now sitting on the table in front of his wife, making room for Maddie to sit on the ground in front of Buck. Chim and Hen move closer to the group, Chim sits on the coffee table next to Bobby, with Maddie sitting on the ground in between his legs, and Hen sits on the arm of the couch, next to Eddie.

“I know I’m asking a lot, and feel free to say no, but... would you be willing to tell us what’s going on?” Eddie asks, rubbing the back of his boyfriend’s hand with his thumb.

“U-um yeah, yeah I can.” Buck says after a minute of silence.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to, it’s completely up to you.” Athena tells Buck, placing a gentle hand on Buck’s knee.

“Yeah, yeah I’m sure. If I don’t tell you now, I never will, and I really want you guys to know.” Buck tells the group, with a small smile.

“Okay baby, take your time.” Athena gives Buck’s knee a small squeeze for comfort. Buck takes a deep, and shaky breath.

“My mom got home from work one day, she was so happy, she just got a promotion...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so these notes are a little different than my usual ones so please read because I need your guys help with how to go about my next chapter(s):
> 
> So I already have the next chapter in progress, and as you can tell it is a backstory/ flashback chapter. Now, because it is a backstory/ flashback chapter, it will have a lot of important information and there are two different parts to Buck's backstory. The first part and what happens next. For the sake of explaining we shall call the first part Jimmy and we shall call what happens next Sausha. (Sausha is from a weird German knockoff of Friends my little sister made me watch called "Extr@" I hate to say it... it was kinda interesting depute that fact that I don't speak German, and I had no idea what was happening lol)
> 
> What I want to know is whether you guys would prefer one backstory/ flashback chapter that is just everything or would you prefer two different chapter, one for each part?
> 
> I will say this, I do have Jimmy, and I am in the process of working on Sausha. So if you guys decide on two separate chapters, I will publish Jimmy in a few days so you will not have to wait for that. But please keep in mind, these chapters are, as bad as this sounds, easy for me to write and Sausha should be completed soon. So either way the chapters should be out relatively soon.
> 
> Please let me know what you would prefer, and as always please let me know what you guys think of this chapter as well!! Also I apologize for the short chapter, this seems to be a pattern😭 Love you guys!!
> 
> (Here since it's tradition I'll tell a shorter story of me being stupid and hurting myself lol. On Thanksgiving day I was trying to open a bottle of Sparkling Juice but it wouldn't open, I tried for a couple minutes, my dad tried, and my older sister tried and we COULD NOT get it open. My mom told me to give it to her to try so I was about to but then I thought "I'll give it one more try." I shouldn't have. So I try again, and as I turn the lid my hand slips and I cut my palm open ON THE LID. Mind you, the bottle is still on one piece, there's no glass, nothing sharp, nothing. I straight up cut my hand open on the ridges of a bottle cap. Now I have a mark on my hand and it might scar. We're thriving. But my mom did get it open so I'll take it as a win.)


	11. 24 Years Earlier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback Time:
> 
> Buck tells the firefam how it all started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🚨Please Read!!🚨  
> Trigger Warnings (may contain spoilers): Minor Character Death, Child Abuse, Graphic Depictions of Injury; Please be careful when reading!! If at any point you become too uncomfortable when reading or you cannot read this chapter DO NOT force yourself to read it. I will summarize the following two chapters in the notes before chapter 13. If anyone feels the need for me to add another trigger warning, please do not hesitate to inform me in the comment, and I will add it. I do not want to make anyone uncomfortable. Thank you for your time and consideration. Enjoy!!

“I have good news!” Frankie tells her family excitedly as she walks into the house. Buck looks up from his coloring book that is laid out on the ground in front of the television, Maddie walks into the living room, dressed in her practice equipment with a half eaten sandwich in her hand.  
  


“What’s your news, love?” Richard asks his wife, following Maddie into the living room.

“I just got promoted!” Frankie says quickly, barely containing her excitement.

“Oh my gosh, mom! That’s incredible, congratulations!” Maddie tells her mom, walking across the room and giving her a hug.

“Thank you, Mads!” Frankie wraps her daughter in a tight hug.  
  


“I’m so proud of you, Frankie.” Richard tells his wife, pulling her into a tight embrace and kissing her forehead lovingly.

“Thank you, Rich.” Frankie says, leaning into the embrace.

“Mommy, what’s a pro-mo-shin?” Buck asks from his spot on the ground. Frankie looks at her youngest with a gentle smile and is about to explain when she’s cut off.

“Don’t ask stupid questions, Evan and congratulate your mother. She worked hard for this, harder than you ever will.” Richard tells his son, with a look of pure displeasure.

“Sorry, sir. Good job mommy.” Buck says quietly, standing from his place on the ground, holding his coloring book and crayons close to his chest.

“Thank you, sweetie.” Frankie says, kissing the top of her son's head and ruffling his small, blonde curls. “Why don’t you go get dressed, we’ll all go out and celebrate.” Frankie tells Buck with a small smile. Bucks face lights up at that.

“As fun as that sounds, Maddie has volleyball practice for her winter league, and I have to go to the office for some last minute preparations, we were just about to head out.” Buck’s face falls, he brings his small hand up to wipe at his eyes, trying to prevent the tears in his eyes from falling.

“That’s okay, me and Evan will celebrate by ourselves, we can all go out together tomorrow.” Frankie says as a compromise, as she gently raises Buck’s face up with her pointer finger. Buck’s eyes light up at the idea.

“Are you sure, Frankie? You don’t have to do this just to make Evan feel better about himself. He needs to start getting used to being disappointed.” Richard tells his wife, grabbing his nice jacket from its hook by the door.

“Richard, I really wish you’d be nicer towards your son. He’s five years old, let him be. Of course I’m sure about this. Go have fun at the office, I’ll see you later tonight. Maddie have fun, kick butt.” Frankie says, giving her husband a quick peck on the lips, before giving Maddie a kiss on her forehead.

“Always do mom.” Maddie says with a smile. She walks up and ruffles Buck’s hair before slipping her jacket on and walking to the car, following her father.

“Alrighty my little Buckaroo, what are we thinking? Ice cream?” Frankie asks her son with a smile.

“Yes! Ice cream!” Buck jumps up and down excitedly.

“Okay, let’s go!” Frankie says, grabbing her son's jacket from the hook.

She wraps her son in the jacket and pulls him into a tight hug. Buck lets out a cheerful laugh. Frankie takes Buck’s hand in her own and the two walk towards Frankie’s car, well Frankie walks, Buck skips. Frankie takes her seat behind the steering wheel, and Buck climbs in the back behind the passenger's seat. Frankie turns on some Christmas music and the two begin making their way to the ice cream shop. Buck’s face lights up as he watches gentle snowflakes fall from the sky. Frankie smiles lovingly when she sees her son’s face through the rearview mirror. After a short drive, the two pull up at a small ice cream parlor.

“What are you gonna get?” Frankie asks her son, feigning being in deep thought.

“Mint Choccy Chip!” Buck tells his mother excitedly, “It’s my favorite!”

“Really, I’m thinking about getting Cookie Dough, what do you think?”

“Yes, you should! It’s so good!” Buck tells her happily. He loves when people ask his opinion, it makes him feel wanted, valued, loved.

“Alright, I’ll get it.” Frankie tells him with a quick tap on his nose. Bucks laughs at the contact and begins bouncing again. He never could stay still. After the two order they sit in the corner of the parlor next to a giant window and watch as the snow falls, well Buck does, Frankie’s eyes never leave her son. She doesn’t get it, how did she create something so… so perfect. From his cute little birthmark, to his little hands, to his precious blonde curls, to his piercing yet gentle blue eyes. She watches as Buck’s eyes grow wider as the snow begins to pick up.

“Mommy, look! There’s more snow!” Buck says happily. Frankie lets out a small laugh.

“Yup, are you almost finished? We should probably get home before the roads get bad.” Frankie asks her son, placing her own empty bowl on the table.

“Yeah!” Buck says looking at his mother, light green ice cream on his nose and around his mouth. Frankie laughs gently at the sight and leans forwards, wiping his face with her napkin.

“There, all clean!” She tells her son with a smile. The two stand, hand in hand again, and make their way through the snow to their car. They get back in their respective seats before Frankie gets back on the road.

“Mommy, can I get Maddie a fluffy blanket for Christmas?” Buck asks his mom, finally taking his gaze off the window.

“Of course! Do you have a specific one in mind?” Frankie asks her son, meeting his eyes through the rearview mirror.

“Yeah! There’s a really fluffy gray and white one at that store by my school.” Bucks tells her excitedly.

“Okay, we can go look this weekend whe-” 

Frankie is cut off by a loud crash. Before Buck can comprehend what’s happening, he feels his whole body jerk forwards before he’s thrown backwards again, this happens again and again and again. When they finally stop, Buck feels pain on his chest and stomach, he opens his eyes and realizes he’s upside down, the car is upside down. Buck tries to move, but he’s in so much pain. His vision feels blurry, why can’t he see right?

“M-mommy?”

No response.

“Mommy?!”

Nothing.

Buck can’t help it anymore, he begins to cry. Why isn’t his mommy answering him? Why is he upside down? Where’s Maddie? What’s happening?

Finally he hears noises. There’s people.

“Help!” Buck begins to frantically call out. Just when Buck is about to start crying again he sees someone, a man, a firefighter!

A young firefighter approaches Buck’s shattered window and clears some of the glass away from the edges.

“Hey Bud, we’re gonna get you and your mommy out, okay?” The man says. Buck just nods.

“Can you tell me your name?”

“B-Buck.”

“Hi there Buck, I’m Timothy, you can call me Timmy. How old are you?” The man says, with a friendly smile.

“F-five. Is my mommy okay? She won’t answer me.” Buck asks Timmy on the verge of tears again. Timmy looks to his right at what Buck assumes is another firefighter before looking back at Buck with a small smile.

“We’re trying to get her out now. Can you help me? We need to get you out as well.” Buck just nods.

“Okay, can you feel everything?” Timmy asks, waving over two more firefighters.

“Ye-yeah. It hurts.” Buck tells him.

“I know, I know. These are my friends, Lynn and Bach, we’re gonna get you out.” Timmy assures Buck. One of the firefighters, Lynn Buck thinks, gives Buck a small wave, while the other, Bach, gives him a small smile. He’s holding something in his hands, it looks like a machine, it’s kinda scary.

“Okay Buck, Bach is gonna pry the door off with this machine, we call it ‘Jaws of Life’, it’s gonna make it possible for us to get you out, okay?” Timmy explains to Buck. Buck nods nervously, he’s so scared, he just wants his mommy.

“Okay, it’s gonna be loud and kind of scary, but I’m gonna be right here.” Timmy tells Buck. Buck nods again and covers his ears and shuts his eyes tight.

Timmy backs away a little, making room for Bach and Lynn to get working on the door. Bach gets the jaws into the door and begins to open them until the door pops open. Timmy steps forward again.

“You did so good, Buck. I’m gonna come in and get your seatbelt off of you, okay?” Timmy asks.

“O-okay.” Buck tells him. He really wants out.

Timmy crawls into the car and reaches up. He wraps his arm around Bucks back to keep him up, and cuts the seat belt off of him. Buck quickly grabs onto Timmy in a vice grip when he feels that his weight isn’t being supported by anything. Timmy quickly wraps both arms around Buck and pulls him into his chest. Buck can’t take it anymore, he shoves his face into Timmy’s neck and begins to sob. Timmy makes his way out of the car and over to an ambulance. He placed Buck in the back and gives him a once over. He can see a large gash at his hairline with blood dripping down his face into his eye. Timmy takes his firefighting jacket off and wraps it around Buck's shoulders, he then uses the bottom of his work shirt and wipes at the blood that’s gathered in Buck's eye. Buck blinks after Timmy pulls away.

“I can see again.” Buck tells him, with a relieved smile.

“Good, can I check you over for more injuries Buck?” Timmy asks.

“Yeah, is my mommy out yet?” Buck asks, his eyes gravitating over to the car. Buck feels his heart shatter and fall into his gut.

The front of the car is crushed in on itself, and there’s a piece of a guardrail in the car. It’s stabbed through the windshield, and through his mother. Her lifeless body is dangling in the car, blood covering her face.

Buck screams.

Timmy quickly pulls Buck into his chest again, and covers his eyes. He just holds him as Buck sobs into his chest, tears staining his uniform. This is one call he’ll never forget.

“I’m sorry Buck, I’m so sorry.” Timmy tells the kid, and he is. Sorry about the crash. Sorry about his mom. Sorry about him seeing everything. Sorry that he can’t do anything.

“Mo-mo-mommy…” Is all Buck says in response. Timmy feels tears prick his eyes, God, he needs a drink.

“I’m so sorry Buck, but, I need to check you over.” Timmy tells him. Buck just nods into his chest, still sobbing. 

Timmy begins checking over the boy. He has a few injuries, a gash on his head, whiplash, some scratches on his arm from the shattered window, but nothing major.

“Can we call anyone for you? What’s your full name?” Timmy asks Buck.

“E-Evan Buckley. My full name. I-I have a sister, Maddie Buckley, well Madeline. She’s 17. My dad is Richard Buckley.” Buck explains.

Timmy nods, and a police officer behind him writes everything down.

“Okay, my friend here is gonna get a hold of them, but we’re gonna take you to the hospital just to be safe.” Timmy explains, pointing to the police officer. The police officer pats Timmy on the shoulder, then gives him a small kiss on the cheek before he walks away.

“Can you- can you ride in the back… with me.” Buck asks Timmy nervously. Timmy looks at him surprised for a second before giving him a small smile.

“Of course.” Timmy helps Buck into the ambulance and climbs in after him. They talk about random things, anything to distract Buck. They talk about Star Wars, Maddie, Timmy’s job, then Buck asks Timmy a question he wasn’t expecting.

“Was that policeman your boyfriend?” Timmy looks at Buck in shock before a wide smile shows on his face.

“Yeah, he is.” Timmy tells him.

“I want a boyfriend, but my dad says it’s wrong. Is it wrong?” Buck asks him.

“Of course it's not wrong! You can love whoever you want, a boy, a girl, both, you can love whoever as long as you have consent.” Timmy tells him. Buck nods in understanding. The rest of the trip they talk about Timmy and his boyfriend.

When they arrive at the hospital Buck has to say goodbye to Timmy, something he very much does not want to do.

“How about this, you go in there with these doctors, and I’ll come back to check on you when I’m done with work tonight? I’ll even bring Liam with so you can properly meet him.” Timmy offers as a compromise.

“O-okay,” Buck says tentatively before his face lights up in a bright smile, “I can’t wait for my mommy to meet you too! She’s going to love you, she’s so nice, and pretty!” Buck tells Timmy excitedly.

“I can’t wait.” Timmy tells Buck with a sad smile.

Buck goes with the doctors to get himself checked out, a new wave of excitement washing over him. After Buck gets his injuries checked on and treated he sits patiently on his hospital bed, dangling his feet in anticipation.

_He can’t wait for Timmy to meet his mommy, they’re going to get along great. Maddie would like Timmy too, she’s so great, his dad he’s not sure about, but he can’t be bothered to worry about that right now. Anyway, where is his mommy? She should be here by now._

Just then, the door to his hospital room opens, and a sobbing Maddie runs in pulling her younger brother into a tight embrace.

“Oh my God, Buck, are you okay? What happened?” Maddie asks, refusing to let go of her brother.

“I-I don’t know. Me and mommy were getting ice cream but it started snowing so we were going back home but then the car swerved and we were upside down. The firefighters came and helped us, I made a new friend. His name is Timmy, he’s dating a police officer. Where’s mommy? I miss her.” Buck tells Maddie all at once, without stopping to take a breath. Maddie pulls away from her little brother and holds him at arm's length, looking him right in the eyes. Her teary eyes reach Buck’s soul, and he can’t help but feel dread.

“M-Maddie… where’s mommy?” Buck asks again. Maddie opens her mouth and is about to explain when their father enters the room. His eyes are puffy and red, and there are dried tear tracks on his cheeks. Buck looks up at his father, he can feel his own eyes watering. Richard grabs Maddie’s shoulder and gently pulls her away from her brother.

“Dad?” Maddie asks, nervously.

“Why don’t you go to the chapel and pray for you mother, I’ll bring Evan in a second.” Richard tells her gently, avoiding looking at his son.

“O-okay.” Maddie agrees. She spares one last glance at her little brother, before she leaves his room to go pray for her mother.

“D-daddy? What’s going on? Where’s mo-” Buck is cut off by a sudden slap across the face. Buck’s head snaps to the side on impact. Buck’s eyes fill with tears and he doesn’t bother trying to stop them from falling.

“W-what did I do?” Buck asks in between breaths.

“Your mother is dead because of you. If you weren't so needy all the time then she would still be alive. I hope you’re happy with yourself Evan.” Richard snaps at his son. Buck feels his heart shatter. Suddenly the image of his mother’s lifeless body, dangling upside down in the car fills his head. Buck just stares at his father as tears stream down his face. He suddenly forgets all about the fact that his father slapped him, he can’t even feel the stinging anymore, everything is just… numb.

“Let’s go.” Richard says, grabbing Buck’s wrist tightly and pulling him out of the room and down the hall.

“Wh-where are we going?” Buck asks in between hiccups.

“We are going to show you what _you_ did.” Richard says, as they arrive in front of another hospital room. Richard opens the door to the dark and empty room and Buck realizes there’s someone on the hospital bed covered in a blanket. Richard grabs Buck by the back of his neck and drags him up to the bed. He removes the blanket off of the person and Buck is face to face with his mother’s dead body. Buck shuts his eyes and tries to pull away but Richard pushes him closer.

“Open your eyes, brat.” Richard tells him through gritted teeth. When Buck still refuses he receives a hard smack to the back of his head. “Open. Your. Eyes.” Buck does what he’s told, his vision is soon blurred by his tears.

“I- I want Maddie, I don’t want to be here.” Buck pleads in between sobs.

“No one can help you Evan, you’re a curse. You only cause death and pain and you ruin everything you touch.” Richard tells his son. He releases his neck and pushes Buck towards the door. Buck falls to the ground in front of the door and watches as his father gently covers his mother with the white blanket once more. He leans down and places a soft kiss to her forehead before turning to face his son again. The minute his eyes land on Buck he gets a cold look on his face. He walks over to his son and Buck quickly pushes himself backwards until he hits the door and realizes he can’t go anywhere. When Richard reaches his son he learns down and pulls Buck up by his wrist. 

He leans into his face and tells him, “You will not mention this to your sister. You never saw your mother after you got her killed, and I never laid a hand on you. Do you understand? You already took away one of her parents, do you really want to take them both away because of your selfishness?”

Buck shakes his head no as his tears stream down his face.

“Good.” Richard says as he uses his grip on Buck’s wrist to pull him away from the door. Buck stumbles, but manages to stay on his feet. Richard opens the door and begins to walk away, Buck nervously follows.

_Why is he such a disappointment. He killed his own mother and now he has to live with that. Maddie probably hates him, he wouldn’t blame her. He shouldn’t rely on Maddie, he’ll only cause her pain and suffering. So why does he want her so bad?_

Buck follows his father into the chapel where Maddie is waiting. She has her head in her hands but it’s obvious she’s not praying anymore, she’s crying.

_Because of Buck. God Why does he ruin everything. He just wants his mommy back. Why did he have to get her killed. He’s a murderer, Maddie will never love him again. Buck wouldn’t blame her._

Maddie looks up at the sound of footsteps heading towards her, when her eyes land on Buck she can’t help but let out more sobs. She runs over to him, gets on her knees and pulls him into another tight embrace.

“We’re gonna be okay, Buck. I promise. We’ll get through this.” Maddie assures him. Buck wraps his arms around her as well and tucks his head into the crook of her neck, hiding his tears as sobs rack through his body.

When they get home Maddie refuses to leave Buck alone. The two spent the night hugging each other as they cried. Soon Buck feels his eyes get heavy with sleep from crying all day.

“Please be safe Buck, I can’t lose you too. I love you so much bud. Never scare me like that again.” Maddie whispers into the quiet room to her sleeping brother. She places a soft kiss to the top of Buck’s head. She tightens her grip on him once more before she falls asleep, still hugging her brother.

Buck opens his eyes and looks at his big sister in the dark. He can’t help the single tear that rolls down his cheek before falling asleep.

  
_Maybe she doesn’t hate me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as you may know, Maddie’s age is unknown in the show so I am just using Oliver Stark’s and Jennifer Love Hewitt’s ages and age gap in my story. Oliver is 29 (born June 21, 1991) and Jennifer is 41 (born February 21, 1979) so that is how old Buck and Maddie are in the normal timeline of my story. In this chapter Buck is 5 and Maddie is 17, as stated in the chapter. I just wanted to clear that up in case I caused any confusion.
> 
> Anywayyyy, I wanted to wait until tomorrow to update but there’s a bunch of things I need to get situated for the next chapter. The next chapter will be another flashback chapter but it will be set up a little different than my usual chapters, once again if you feel you cannot read the next chapter please don’t force yourself to, there will be a no graphic summary for this and the next chapter before chapter 13, there will be another reminder before the next chapter.
> 
> Along with all that, I have a school court case on Thursday so I will be spending the week preparing for that, so I wanted to make sure I got this chapter out before I’m cut off from the world lol. With that in mind, the next chapter may be a little late, but should still be up by next week, hopefully by the 15 at the latest!!
> 
> Also I apologize that the spaces between lines are so big, it just happens when I convert the chapter to Rich Text.
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter!! I love reading your comments and they always make my day, and I always look forwards to reading them!! 💞💞
> 
> Story Time!!!  
> Alright... which story today??? I’ll go with a classic, this is the story of the first scar I have a memory of getting. Okay, so when I was little, like around the age of 4 or 5, I was running on the “track” at my school districts elementary school. Now when I say “track” I mean it was a shit ton of tiny rocks in a circle around the sports field. So I was running and I fell, cause you know... it’s me, and I ate shit. I slid across my knee ripping it open. So in me knee 🚨warning this is kinda graphic but you’re reading this fic so it should be nothing too bad, but just in case🚨 so in my knee gash, I have pieces of my knee skin and tiny rocks just vibing. It hurt like a bitch. So my mom had to clean it out with a baby wipe while I cried lol. So I got a scar on my knee cap and I had no idea what a scar was cause I was like 4 and it looked like a fish so I just called it “my fish”. To this day, I call it my “fish scar” when referring to it 😂


	12. Richard’s Response

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Backstory time part 2! More about what Buck went through while growing up with Richard after Maddie left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🚨PLEASE READ🚨  
> Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Previous Minor Character Death, Child Abuse, Graphic Depictions of Injury, Homophobic Language; Please be careful when reading!! If at any point you become too uncomfortable when reading or you cannot read this chapter DO NOT force yourself to read it. This chapter will be summarized, along with the previous chapter in the notes before chapter 13 (the next chapter). If anyone feels the need for me to add another trigger warning, please do not hesitate to inform me in the comment, and I will add it. I do not want to make anyone uncomfortable. Thank you for your time and consideration. Enjoy!!

Buck hasn't received any more beatings since his mother’s death two years ago. He got threatened and verbally abused all the time, but Buck could take those, or so he said he could. Maddie had recently moved out of the house and was starting her new life with Doug. Buck  _ hates _ Doug, he doesn’t trust him. Thanks to him, Buck never gets to see his sister. It’s ridiculous!

\----------

Buck: Age 7

Maddie: Age 19

Time Passed Since Frankie’s Death: 2 years, and 4 ½ months

Buck comes home from school with a piece of paper folded into quarters held close to his chest. The boy quickly makes his way through the livingroom to the staircase in an attempt to avoid his father.

“Evan! Where’re you sneaking off to?” Richard asks from the couch. Buck stops in his tracks, on the third step.

“I-I was just going to my room… I have a-a lot of homework.” Buck tells his father nervously.

“Is that so?” His father asks, standing from his seat. “What do you have in your hands?” He asks, as he moves closer to his son, standing at the bottom of the stairs.

“O-oh, it’s um… an art… project.” Buck tells him, looking down at the ground. 

“Let’s take a look, shall we?” Richard says, grabbing the piece of paper from Buck’s arms. Buck looks up anxiously and watches as his father unfolds the large piece of construction paper.

“What the hell is this?” Richard asks, showing Buck that paper, as if he isn’t the one who made it.

“I-it’s um… a picture… of me and… mommy.” Buck tells him, looking back to the ground.

“Oh, yeah, I see it now,” Richard replies, flipping the picture back so he can look at it again, “I guess what I’m confused about is why you thought your mother would want to be in a picture with you, nonetheless  _ just  _ the two of you. I mean, afterall, you are the reason she’s dead.” Richard tells him, looking up from the picture to glare at his son.

Buck begins to tear up. No matter how many times he hears that, it still hurts. He knows it’s not his fault, it was out of his control. Or was it? Afterall, if he hadn’t agreed, if he just waited for Maddie and his dad then she’d still be alive.

“I-I just thought-” Buck begins, before he gets caught cut off by his father.

“Oh, you thought! Well there’s the issue!” Richard snaps back snarkily. Buck watches as Richards' grip on the picture increases, crumpling the corner of the paper.

“I-I’m sorry… I won’t do it again. I promise!” Buck tells him, tears beginning to fall from his eyes.

Buck’s stupid to think that would be the end of it. Just as he thinks he’s in the clear, the back of a large hand flies at his face, hitting him on his right cheek. Buck’s head snaps to the left and Buck just stands there in shock, staring at the wall.

“Damn right you won’t.” Richard days, before ripping the paper up and throwing the pieces on the ground of Buck, and stumbling back to the living room. Buck stares at the wall for another minute or two. After the realization of what just happened hits him, Buck quickly gathers the pieces of paper on the ground, and sprints up the stairs to his bedroom. As soon as he enters his room, he closes the door and locks it, praying it’s enough to keep his father out.

_ He deserved that… right? _

\----------

Buck: Age 10

Maddie: Age 22

Time Passed Since Frankie’s Death: 5 years, 2 ⅓ months

“Evan! Get down here!” Richard yells up the stairs from his position on a couch in the living room. Buck jumps up from his place on his bed, surrounded by a pile of homework assignments. He hurries out of his room, and rushes down the stairs trying to get to his father as quickly as possible to avoid a slap in the face, literally. He speeds down the stairs and comes to a stop in the living room.

“Yes, sir?” Buck asks his dad using that word his father makes him call him, ‘sir’. Buck hates it, but he’d never say as such to anyone who asks.

“I’ve been in contact with the football coach in your school, and he told me something quite interesting.” Buck feels the color drain from his face as his father speaks, “Do you wanna know what he said?”

“W-what?” Buck asks, already knowing the answer.

“He told me that you said you weren’t going to play anymore cause you ‘wanted to focus on schoolwork.’” Richard tells him, staring down at his son.

“O-oh um, that, well I do. I mean it was distracting and I needed more time to do school work so I can keep good grades, and-” Buck’s nervous rant gets cut off by his father backhanding him across his face. Buck grabs the side of his face and looks up at his father, with tears filling his eyes.

“Are you telling me that you’re so incompetant that you can’t even play one sport and pass school?” Richard yells.

Buck quickly looks at the ground, avoiding his father’s eyes. At least he already got hit, that means just yelling, then being sent to his bedroom without dinner. Buck can live with that, he’s used to it by now.

Unfortunately for him, his father doesn’t feel the same. Richard grabs Buck by his hair and pulls it back, forcing Buck to look at his father.

“Answer me, you little shit.” Richard grits out.

“No- no sir.” Buck replies after he catches up with the scenario.

“Then tell me,” Richard starts, leaning in real close to Buck’s face, “why can’t you play football?”

“Well, i-it’s dangerous and-” Before Buck can finish his thought, Richard drops his hair and smacks the back of Buck’s head.

“It’s dangerous? Are you fucking kidding me? Are you that much of a little bitch that you can’t take a little beating from playing a sport?” Richard asks, staring at his son incredulously.

Buck doesn’t answer, knowing that whatever he says will be considered wrong.

“I’ll teach your dumb ass to take a beating.” Richard snarls under his breath, now walking closer to Buck. Buck looks up at his father’s footsteps. Before he can do anything, Richard’s right hand bunches into a fist that flies into Buck’s stomach. Buck doubles over and grabs at his stomach. Buck takes a step back on reflex only to be grabbed by his shirt collar. Richard pulls his son closer to himself, Buck stumbles forward and gently falls into his father. Richard grabs Buck by the shoulders to stabilize his son only to knee him in the gut when Buck gains his footing again.

This time Buck falls to the ground, catching himself on his knees. Richard looks down at Buck for a couple of seconds before he bunches his hand into a fist that he connects with his son's nose. Buck’s hands fly up to his now bloody nose as he tries to stop the pain and blood.

“Figure out some excuse for your face. If anyone gets word of what happened here, I’ll beat you so bad nobody will be able to make out who you are.” Richard threatens before walking away, leaving his 10 year old son bleeding, battered and bruised on the living room floor.

\----------

Buck: Age 16

Maddie: Age 28

Time Passed Since  ~~ Frankie’s Death ~~ Buck Killed Frankie: 11 years, 5 months, 1 week

Buck was buzzing with nervous energy, he can’t believe Justin actually asked him out. Justin is Buck’s “super straight” classmate that Buck has had a crush on since he was 13 years old. Buck doesn’t know what about him kept him on the line for three years, maybe it was the way he styled his brown hair, or his murky green eyes that Buck could look in all day, or maybe it was how despite all of his friends were homophobic, dickheads, who gave Buck crap for being as openly bi as he could be with Richard as his father, Justin was always nice to Buck and refused to shrink to his friends level, no matter how much they tried to peer pressure him into joining in on the “fun”. Now Buck was sitting on his bed with Justin no more than a foot away.

“I-I’ve never done anything like this before.” Buck tells Justin nervously. Justin just reaches his hand out and places it gently on Buck’s thigh right above his knee.

“Hey, no need to be nervous, okay? It’s fine, I’ll help you.” Justin tells Buck softly, clearly trying to calm him down. Buck nods, and can’t help as his eyes find Justin’s lips. Buck bites his own bottom lip as Justin scootches closer to Buck. Buck watches nervously yet excitedly as Justin begins to lean in closer.

“Just close your eyes and relax.” Justin whispers against Buck’s lips. Buck can feel goosebumps litter his skin at the sensation. He barely nods, and closes his eyes as Justin instructed him. He can’t help the little yelp he lets out when Justin’s lips finally connect with his own. Justin lets out a small laugh at that but continues the kiss. Justin begins to push his tongue in Buck's mouth and Buck opens his mouth slightly to allow it. The kiss doesn't deepen from there, the two boys focus on moving their hands around the other. Justin moves his left hand off of Buck’s right leg and uses it instead to grab Buck’s chin and pull him closer while his right hand rests on Buck’s left side. Buck places his one hand on Justin’s knee and holds onto his pant legs and the other rests on his thigh further up his leg, but not too close to anything, not knowing what else to do with his hands.

Before Buck gains the confidence to do anything else with his hands, his bedroom door opens with a bang, causing Buck and Justin to jump away from each other.

“What the hell is going on in here?!” Richard yells from the doorway.

“W-we were just studying.” Buck tells his father, avoiding eye contact.

“Oh, you were, were you? Were the answers in this cock suckers mouth?” Richard replies, in an unsettlingly calm voice. Buck glances over at Justin and sees him looking at Richard with an incredulous look.

“Dad, please.” Buck pleads, he doesn’t know what for, but it felt right.

“Don’t call me that you little bitch, and you” Richard says, pointing to Justin, “close your damn mouth, no one in this room is gonna fill it with what you want.” Richard spits out. Justin snaps his mouth shut and looks over at Buck. Buck is staring intently at the ground, and tears are already welling in his eyes. Something in Justin comes to the horrible conclusion that this isn’t the first time Buck’s father said stuff like this to him, and something even more dark in him tells him this is probably gonna get ugly real fast.

“I-I think I’m gonna get going, I’m sorry Mr. Buckley, I’ll see you later Buck.” Justin says, standing from his place on Buck’s bed, trying to make a quick exit.

“Oh no you dont.” Richard chastises Justin as he looks to leave the room. He grabs the boy by his bicep as he tries to squeeze out the door, causing Buck to stand from his place on the bed as well.

“Dad, please, don’t hurt him.” Buck begs, making eye contact with his father for the first time in… well in years. Something dark appears in Richard’s eyes at Buck’s reaction. Justin grimaces at the pressure and tries to pry Richard’s fingers from his arm. He looks over his shoulder to Buck in the hope that Buck can talk some sense into his asshole father, but from the look on his face, Buck is even more scared than Justin is. His eyes are full of tears, some threatening to spill over. Justin feels all the fight in him leave at the sight. He wants to fight, more than anything he  _ wants  _ to fight, but the look on Buck leaves him paralyzed.

“Fine.” Richard throws Justin at Buck’s bed. The back of Justin’s legs hit the edge of Buck’s bed causing him to fall backwards and bounce on the bed on his back a few times. When he stops bouncing he sits up on the bed again and sees Richard locking Buck’s bedroom door.

“Dad, dad please.” Buck continues to plead as Richard advances on Buck. Buck looks behind him, looking for somewhere to go but when he sees the only thing behind him is his bed, where Justin is sitting, looking terrified.

“How many times have I told you Evan, don’t call me father, don’t call me dad, and stop being a little queer bitch!” Richard says, getting louder as he goes. Before Justin can do anything, Richard backhands Buck across his face. Buck’s head snaps to the side, allowing Justin to see his face. His eyes are shut from the impact, and Justin can see a few of the tears that were welling in his eyes finally spill over. Buck opens his eyes and makes eye contact with Justin, immediately portraying all his guilt. Justin just gives him a small head shake, there is no way he’s letting Buck take the blame for this. Justin knew the risks, he knew Buck’s dad was a homophoic dick, Buck had told him as much when Justin brought this whole idea up. Buck is a victim, and it looks like he has been for quite awhile.

Richard grabs Buck roughly by his chin and cheeks with one hand and turns his head so he’s looking at his father.   
  
“You don’t want me to touch your little boy toy? That’s fine. You’ll just have to take a beating for two then won’t you?” Richard asks Buck with a disgusting smile. Justin has to hold in the urge to vomit.

“Y-yes, sir.” Buck replies defeatedly. Richard’s eyes leave Buck and find Justin. Richard turns Buck’s head to face Justin once more.

“Don’t you fucking move. You try to leave, and Evan gets punished for it. Got it?” Richard asks, tightening his grip on Buck, causing his lips to stick out, almost like a pout.

Justin opens his mouth to talk but when nothing comes out he just nods his head. Richard releases Buck’s face, and Buck immediately steps backwards to put some distance between himself and his father. 

Richard advances in his son anyway, grabbing his arm and using it to pull Buck closer to himself. Buck has no time to react before Richard punches him in the stomach. Buck coughs at the impact and doubles over. Richard uses Buck’s new position to his advantage and knees the boy in the face, his knee connecting with Buck’s nose. Buck’s head flies up at the impact and Buck grabs at his nose with both hands.

Richard pulls Buck’s hands away from his nose and uses them to push Buck into his dresser. Buck hisses in pain as his side connects with the corner, no doubt leaving an angry red scratch mark on his skin. Buck’s back hits his bedroom wall, causing Buck to grunt. Richard quickly advances on his son again, throwing punch after punch to Buck’s stomach, side, arms, and chest as he spits out hateful comments.

“It’s a good thing you’re mother isn’t here to see what you’ve become. What would she think? She’d be repulsed!” Richard spits at his son.

“I thought I would have beat the fag out of you years ago, I guess I was wrong.”

“Maybe if you weren’t such a disappointment, not everyone would leave you. First your mother, then Madeline.”

Buck doesn’t try to hold in the tears, he just lets them fall, not caring whether his father or Justin sees them. He slowly slides down the wall trying to make himself smaller, it does nothing to stop Richard’s efforts though, instead he resorts to kicking the boy.

Justin can’t watch anymore. He tried to hold out, to make Buck feel like he’s not alone, but he just… can’t anymore. Justin turns his head towards the wall opposite of Buck and shuts his eyes tightly, praying that Buck’s “dad” will just stop. Will leave Buck alone and Buck will be safe. He can’t express how much it breaks his heart that that never happens and won’t happen for years to come.

Justin doesn’t hear Buck screaming for his father to “get away from Justin”, so he’s completely caught off guard by the rough, calloused hands that roughly grab his chin. Justin’s eyes fly open and next thing he knows, he’s face to face with a monster. Buck’s dad is staring right into Justin’s eyes, right through his soul. A few tears slip past his eyes as he’s forced to look up at the monster who people claim is Buck’s father.

“Look away again, and I’ll kill him here and now. You understand?” Richard asks Justin sarcastically.

Justin feels all the blood drain from his face, he can’t hold back the sob that tears through him at Richard’s words, and frankly, he doesn’t want to.

“Oh, come now, don’t cry. The show’s just getting good.” Richard tells Justin in a sickeningly false sweet voice that only serves to scare Justin even more. Richard releases Justin’s face and turns back to Buck, who is curled on the ground, his face hidden behind his legs.

Justin has no choice but to watch as Richard walks away from him and back over to Buck. The boy on the ground finches as he approaches, but makes no move to get away. Justin feels heartbroken at the sight. He never thought he’d see the day Evan “Buck” Buckley had given up the fight, and he really wished he hadn’t.

Richard doesn’t hesitate as he bends down, picks up Buck’s left leg by the ankle. He straightens up, pulling Buck’s leg up with him, causing the boy to straighten his leg and lay uncomfortably as his leg is extended painfully over his head.

“I will break you’re fucking ankle, unless you confess to me what you really are. A fucking faggot.” Richard spits at his son, gripping his ankle in a painful grip that’s bound to leave marks. Buck just shakes his head, tears spilling silently down his cheeks.

“Say it, you piece of shit. Say ‘I’m a fucking faggot, and I love to take dick up the ass.’” Richard tell him, tightening his grip to the point where Buck can feel the bones in his ankle grind against each other. Buck grits his teeth, trying to hold in the scream he so badly wants to release.

“Say it!” Richard yells, applying pressure on the side of Buck’s ankle, pushing the bone too far the wrong way.

“I’m a fucking faggot!” Buck yells to his father, to get the pain to stop.

“What else?” Richard asks, not removing any of the pressure. Buck stares up at his father, pleadingly but gets nowhere, “What else?” Richard asks again, enunciating each word.

“I’m a fucking faggot and I love to take dick up the ass.” Buck grits out through his teeth, staring at his father. Richard looks down at his son with an almost proud expression and Buck wishes so badly it wasn’t there. Buck has been trying to get his father to look at him like that his entire life and the one time he does, Buck hates it. He hates it and why it’s there and the man who it’s on. He hates it all.

Buck’s brought out of his angry thoughts by a loud snap that breaks through the silent room, and the excruciating pain that radiates from his ankle.

Buck screams.

Justin watched from the bed as Richard smiles dangerously at his son after making him insult himself before he applies a dangerous amount of pressure to Buck’s ankle effectively breaking it with a loud crunch. Justin’s hand flies to his mouth as Buck screams in pain. Richard drops Buck’s leg, causing Buck’s ankle to slam onto the ground.

Justin watches as Buck cries in pain on the ground, gripping his ankle for dear life. Richard watches as silent tears stream down Justin’s face. Justin freezes, and fights the urge to vomit when he feels Richard’s fingers lift his head up by his chin. Justin looks into Richard’s cold eyes and feels more tears welling up in his own eyes.

“You will not speak of what happened here. If anyone asks, you and Evan were fucking around and he fell down the stairs like the useless idiot he is. Do you understand?” Richard asks. Justin feels like he’s staring into his soul. He can’t help but gently shake his head against the finger keeping his chin up.

“Y-you, you want me to lie? I can’t do that.” Justin whispers, but it sounds so loud in comparison to Buck’s quiet sobs on the ground. Richard nods and it almost looks understanding but after what Justin has seen today, he’s not falling for it. Richard releases Justin’s face and begins walking over to where Buck is laying on the ground, staring at the two of them in pure fear. Richard walks over to where Buck is laying and grabs him by his hair. Buck’s hands leave his ankle and reach up to grab at Richard’s hands. Justin watches in fear as Richard begins dragging Buck out of the room and into the hall. Justin quickly follows them as Buck screams in pain. His ankle is definitely broken, if Justin hadn’t heard the sickening crack earlier he could definitely tell by the unusual angle his foot is set out as he’s dragged down the hall.

“Wait, stop! What’re you gonna do?” Justin asks, running to catch up to Buck and his father. Richard ignores Justin and just keeps walking down away. Suddenly Justin realises something horrifying.

“Wait! Please stop!” Justin yells. Richard just looks over at him with a straight face before he throws Buck down the staircase by his hair. Buck screams as he rolls down the stairs, hitting his face on the stairs and railing, then tweaking his ankle, over and over. When Buck hits the ground with an excruciating thud Richard turns to Justin and looks into his tearful eyes.

“Now you don’t have to lie.” Richard tells him before walking back down the hall into his own bedroom. Justin runs down the stairs to where Buck is writhing on the floor grabbing his wayward ankle in a tight grip.

“Oh my God, oh my God, Buck!” Justin yells as he reaches his friend, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! You told me the risks, I shouldn’t have come. This is all my fault!” Justin rambles, as tears roll down his cheeks.

“It’s- it’s not your fault. I knew the risks, I shouldn’t have let this happen. You should go home.” Buck tells Justin as his sobs begin to die down.

“Hell no! I am  _ not  _ leaving you here with that monster! I refuse!” Justin tells Buck, tears still streaming down his face.

“You’ll have to eventually. I live here, that’s my father. I know you want to help me but you  _ can’t _ . I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if he hurt you.” Buck tells him, starting to pull himself off the ground using the railing to assist himself.

“You can’t be serious! Buck, you are living in Hell! Your so called father made you call yourself an insensitive slur, threatened you, followed through anyway, and pushed you down a flight of stairs!” Justin tells Buck, helping him stand.

“Yeah, well it’s not the first time he’s hit me.” Buck replies, wincing as he applies pressure to his broken ankle.

“Unfortunately, I kinda picked up on that. Nonetheless, you know he’s going to keep hurting you, he broke your damn ankle, Buck!” Justin positions himself under Buck’s left shoulder to relieve some of the pressure.

“Yeah, I gotta admit, that one was new.” Buck says with a self deprecating laugh.

“Come on, Buck. Let’s get you to the hospital.” Justin replies with a frown.

“You know we can’t see eachother anymore, right?” Buck asks, limping out of the front door using Justin as support.

“Yeah,” Is Justin’s only response as he looks at his feet and Buck’s one good foot, as his left one drags uncomfortably behind them, “I know.”

\----------

Buck: Age 17

Maddie: Age 29

Time Passed Since  ~~ Frankie’s Death ~~ Buck Killed Frankie: 12 years, 1 month, 3 weeks

Usually when Richard’s in this kind of mood, Buck avoids him at all costs. Despite what his father may say about him, Buck’s not an idiot. He knows he’s only going to put himself at risk so he just goes to his room, locks the door, and camps out for the night, but something about this night prevented Buck from doing just that.

Richard was sitting on the same damn seat in the living room he always did when Buck walked into the house, he was staring at the TV which was showing some football game Buck had no interest in, even if he did it’s not like he’d stick around to watch with “dear ole dad”. Buck was about to walk up the stairs to start on his homework when he heard his father begin talking. Why Buck didn’t just ignore him as per usual, he had no idea.

“How is it, I do everything right but you damn kids still manage to fuck everything up?” Richard asked no one in particular. Buck froze on the bottom step and turned towards his father.

“I’m sorry?”

“You heard me. I raised you and your sister perfectly, yet here I am. Stuck with a little queer, cock-sucking bitch for a son, and a daughter who can’t even please her own damn husband. Buck already knows he’s going to do something he’s gonna regret, but he can’t let his father talk about Maddie that way. She’s perfect and Doug is a no- good, lying piece of shit she shouldn’t even be with in the first place.

“Don’t talk about Maddie like that. She doesn’t need to ‘please her husband’. She doesn’t have some weird moral obligation to him.” Buck replies, turning his back on his father once more and stepping on the next step.

“Of course you’d believe that.” Richard scoffs, taking a sip from his beer.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Buck asks from the stairs.

“You have the same ridiculous beliefs as your sister. If she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life pleasing Doug, and making his life easier she shouldn’t have married him.” Richard answers, this time staring directly at Buck.

Buck walks down the stairs and finally takes his backpack off, flinging it none too gently onto the ground. It hits the ground with a heavy thud, the books and binders from his advanced placement classes hitting the ground through the fabric of the bag.

“Don’t ever fucking say that about Maddie again.” Buck grits out, staring back at his dad.

“Oh look what we have here,” Richard begins, standing from his place on the couch and making his way towards Buck. “Big, strong Evan is here to defend the weak. Grow the hell up. Madeline knew damn well what she was getting herself into when she got married. Her place is in the kitchen, and by her husband's side, she shouldn't even have that damn nursing job.”

“Is that how you felt about mom?” Buck asks, angrily. He knows the second it left his mouth it was the wrong thing to say, but did he care? Not a damn bit.

Buck sees the fist coming a mile away, but no matter how early he prepared himself for he wouldn’t have been able to dodge it. Buck hears a sickening crunch as the fist connects with his nose. Buck’s hand flies to his nose to grab at the now bleeding appendage. Unfortunately he doesn’t notice as his father steps to Buck’s side to drag the now abandoned backpack closer to himself. Buck heads the zipper and looks up from his blood covered hands to see Richard grabbing out Buck’s AP Calculus textbook. Buck takes a shaky step back as he watches Richard weigh the book in his hand. Richard quickly steps closer to Buck and swings the book, hitting him in the gut. Buck doubles over, grabbing at his injured gut only to feel excruciating pain as his father brings the book down on the back of Buck’s head.

Buck’s body hits the ground hard as the 17 year old teeters between consciousness and unconsciousness. Buck flinches back aggressively as the textbook hits the ground right in front of his face with a loud thud. Buck looks up to see his father once again rummaging through Buck’s bag.

“What else do we have in here?” He asks, pulling out random binders and other textbooks as he searches. Buck sees a horrible glint in his eyes as he finds something that must interest him. He drops the back once again and looks down at Buck, holding up a stapler. Buck forgot he had borrowed that from his teacher but now he just regrets it.

Buck tries to push himself away but when he makes the mistake of placing his hand on the floor Richard steps on his wrist, pinning his hand down. Richard then crouches as he opens the stapler. Before Buck can try to talk his way out of anything, Richard smashes the stapler onto Buck’s hand 5 times, embedding staple after staple into his hand. Buck screams at the pain as he tries to push his father off of him.

Richard stands and releases the pressure from his son's wrist. Buck immediately pulls his injured hand into his chest as he sobs. Richard glares down at his son before delivering two swift kicks, one to Buck’s ribs and the other to his face. Thankfully, Buck loses consciousness fully this time.

To this day, Buck knows he got lucky that he was able to wake up the next morning. He just won’t have a strong appreciation for that until later, much later.

\----------

Buck: Age 18

Maddie: Age 30

Time Passed Since  ~~ Frankie’s Death ~~ Buck Killed Frankie: 13 years

Buck quickly slams his bedroom door and locks it. He turns around and begins shuffling through his draws, grabbing as much clothing as he can before shoving it in his gym bag. He stops for a second when he hears banging on his door. With wide eyes, he quickly keeps packing as many of his belongings as he can.

“Evan! Open this damn door!” Richard screams, continuing his banging.

“Go away!” Buck yells, his fear clearly showing in his voice.

“I swear to God, Evan. I will kick this door off its hinges and beat the ever-living shit out of you!” Richard yells back, taking a break from his banging.

Buck instinctually reaches up to feel at the bruise that’s blossoming on his right cheekbone.

“Evan! Open this door!”

Buck snaps out of his trance with a start. He quickly turns around, grabs a photo of 3 year old him with his mother, both smiling widely and stuffs it in his bag, in between one of his sweatshirts to keep it safe before zipping up the bag. He hears his father’s footsteps retreat, normally that would be a good thing, but tonight, well Buck knows what’s coming. Without so much of a second thought, Buck opens his bedroom window and tosses his gym bag out, before climbing out the second story window himself.

He lands on the hard ground below him, barely keeping himself on his feet. Quickly standing from his crouched landing position, he grabs his gym bag and starts running through his backyard away from the house he hasn’t called home in 13 years, to the day.

Buck just kept running, he wasn’t thinking about where he was going but he shouldn’t be surprised his legs took him here. Buck comes to a stop, panting and trying to catch his breath. His legs begin to move on their own accord again, this time at a walk. Buck can feel his eyes water as he comes to a stop once more.

“Hi, Mom.” Buck whispers, as the tears begin to fall faster. He places his gym bag a little ways away before he falls to his knees, “Sorry I didn’t bring any flowers, I was in a bit of a rush. I actually don’t really remember how I got here to be honest.” Buck says as he lets out a small self deprecating laugh.

Buck rests his right hand on the top of his mother’s tombstone before resting his forehead on his hand.

“I’m so sorry mom, I tried to stay, I did, it’s just- he’s getting worse and I don’t know how to help him. I know you’d say it’s not my burden to bear, but it is. It  _ is _ because if it weren’t for me, you’d still be here and we’d still be happy, Dad would still be happy,  _ I’d _ still be happy. I tried to stay, you know for Maddie, and for you, but… he’s crossed too many lines that he can’t come back from and I don’t want to wait around here until he crosses the last one and  _ I _ can’t come back. I really am sorry. I’ll be back with flowers… some day. I don’t know when, but someday I will. I’m gonna travel though, so maybe I can hit some of those places we always talked about.” Buck lets out a small laugh, this one is more sad than self deprecating, “I think I’m gonna go to South America first, maybe get a job, earn some money, I don’t know. We’ll see. I promise, I’ll be back. At least once a year, I’ll be back. I love you so much, Mom. I love you.”

Buck places a gentle kiss to his own fingers and places the fingers gently on his mother’s stone. He stands, grabs his gym bag and begins his long trek into the unknown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who’s not dead!! That’s right, this guy!!! I’m still so sorry this took so long!!!
> 
> Sorry this chapter was a little unusual, and set up differently than normal. I decided that this was the best way to get the point of what Buck has been through and when and what happened without taking up another couple of chapters. This is all for the purpose of Buck’s background. The normal chapter set up and original timeline will continue next chapter!!
> 
> This was I think the longest chapter I wrote but I feel like it was needed to hit all the main “firsts” in Buck’s relationship with his father, i.e. first time getting slapped since his mom’s death, first major beating, first broken bone, first time almost getting killed, and of course his first time saving himself.
> 
> This chapter, and the last chapter will be summarized in the beginning notes of the next chapter and the summaries will not be graphic and will just be the essential knowledge. Please keep in mind, this is a story about Buck being abused by his father, and it will get more graphic in the future. Please be mindful!! I appreciate the support as always and I hope you enjoyed these chapters!! (As much as you can enjoy chapters about a poor kid getting abused by his father.)
> 
> Now back to my normal notes....  
> So, as you may know from my notes in the last chapter, I had a court case in class that I was really nervous for. Well in case anyone was wondering, I won! My team (really only me cause I was the arguer while my teammates were the opener and closer, don't get me wrong they were great help but the arguments were all mine and I did most of all the arguing) crushed the other team. It was actually really fun once I got past the nerves. Before it started I was shaking like crazy and almost threw up so that was fuuun. (I wrote some of these notes awhile back and holy shit it’s been awhile, goddamn that court case was forever ago 😂)
> 
> Story Time!!  
> Fun Fact: I actually broke my own left ankle a while back. My story is a lot less sad than Buck’s though. I broke mine at the first field hockey practice my 8th grade year and played on it the entire season. I had no idea it was broken, because I’ve always had bad ankles so I figured it was just the usual pains. Turns out, I was wrong. Anywayy the day after my last game I went to the doctors and was put in a boot and sent to school, which really sucked because when I got to school it was our Halloween dress up day so everyone figured it was fake and was not careful and it was my first time walking in a boot so I had no idea what I was doing. I almost fell like 10 times that day lol. To this day my ankle still causes me pain and sometimes I have to wear my boot around the house or to the store because it’s too much.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. This was my first fic so I hope it wasn't complete garbage. I don't have a set day on when I'll update, if this does good I'll probably make one but idk yet. I do plan to update even if it doesn't do well but the update dates will probably be wonky. Thank you again 💞


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